Monday, October 31, 2005

The Importance of Samhain

Otherwise known as Halloween, All Hallow's Eve (since Nov 1st is All Hallow's or All Saints day), etc, Samhain is a day to honor the dead. It is a day to speak to them, clear unfinished business with them, say what you couldn't say to them when they were alive... it's a day where you recognize them for protecting you all year round!! And, for me, I am especially thankful, as they help me even more by communicating with me and showing me the Other Side.
Traditionally, you're supposed to leave a light by the window to help Lost Souls find their way home (Jack-o-Lanterns' origins). You're supposed to bake delicious goods and lay them out for a feast of the dead. But what else can you do?
You can spend a quiet hour alone with photographs of deceased loved ones, and speak to them one by one - or collectively - and express your continuing love for them, and appreciation for all that they do, even if you don't always know what it is. Spirits work hard, and they work in obscurity most of the time, so usually their hard work goes unnoticed. Spirits can also get lonely for their family, so let them know you're still around, and that you welcome them to spend time in your home, and around you.
You can also help the living. Contact living family members that you haven't talked to in a while, especially older or sicker family members that may be lonely or unable to participate in their favorite seasonal activities. Write letters to loved ones. The best way to make strong bonds in the next life, is to strengthen the bonds in this life. Let people know that you care.
Another great way to spend this time is to think of what you want to accomplish before you die. Meditating on death is a religion for some Eastern folks, and it is a very intelligent way to remember our temporary existence in the flesh here. Enjoy yourself, don't deny yourself harmless pleasures. The greatest rule of all: do what you will, as long as you're not hurting anyone. Eat some chocolates in a sudsy bubble bath while listening to your favorite music. ;)

Happy Halloween, and a Meaningful Samhain

Saturday, October 29, 2005

FAQ: Do my own family ghosts come to visit me?

Yes! All the time.
Here is an example of apowerful family-spirit filled time.
The day that my Grandfather died, recently, I saw the beloved spirit of my Grandmother, who died of ALS when I was young. She was standing by my Mother's bedside (there was no one in the room) and seemed to be "taking care" of someone. Instantly I knew that my Grandfather's time was coming, and probably that day. Why? Well she was a full blown apparition... and usually I don't see apparitions very often. I see spirits, I sense spirits, but rarely do you see a dead person standing in your Mother's bedroom. It does happen, however, that spirits can muster up enough energy to manifest themselves, however - usually they do it to pack a punch of meaning.
We knew my Grandfather was going to die soon, but not that soon, and my Grandmother communicated to me that it was time, and that I should be brave for my Mother. I let her know by nodding, and she disappeared. I merely told my Mom that I saw my Grandmother, as I usually tell her when I sense Grandma, and went to my room to collect myself.
Shorltly after my Grandfather died, before I knew it as a fact (before my uncle called me) - I heard his voice say a very familiar phrase to me, one that always made me laugh when he said it, and in his powerful voice (in French) - and I knew. My uncle called five minutes later to tell me my Grandfather was dead, and that was that. I already knew, but it's still not easy - even when you know they're in a better place. I would have posted about this earlier, but it was still too fresh/too hard. Now that everyone is starting to heal a bit, it's easier to write about.
All though that week, family spirits were with me. No more apparitions, but many spirits. My Aunt Cecile sat next to me on the whole 8 hour ride up, who had died of breast cancer. I hadn't known her well in life, but I'd seen her several times as a spirit.
During the wake, the entire funeral home was filled with spirits, some that I knew, some that I didn't. The strangest part was - that there were no ghosts in the church for the funeral. It's been suggested to me that it's hallowed ground, and therefore spiritual energy isn't as easily percieved, or that there was just too much spiritual activity to pick out one or two spirits, or that there was a much more powerful force in the church to allow me to see it.
Another example.
I have to visit the doctor's office many times during the year... at least 7 or 8. Each time is difficult for me, emotionally and physically, and I always tend to have a bit of a panic attack. I hate being a chronically ill person, but I have accepted it and try to stay strong. Sometimes my strength fails me, and I just want to run out of the office and cry like a baby - but then, the spirit of my Grandmother and deceased pet dog come to comfort me. They slow down my heart rate, and anchor me down. My Grandmother has always told me to stay strong, that she's always around.
Your family members may be doing the same thing, open your heart and your mind to that possibility, and PAY ATTENTION! Sometimes it may seem like you're in a day dream, or hallucinating, but family spirits are always trying to contact youduring these hard times. I've seen it time and again, spirits crowding around someone, frustrated that they can't be heard. Sometimes I want to yell out what the spirits are trying to say, but I have learned to hold my tongue - as many people get angry if you tell them you're a medium. "How dare you?" or "Are you mental?" Those are my favorites.
It's best during hard times to look for signs also. Spirits can subtly manipulate their physical environment, not always enough to manifest themselves, but most times they're able to scramble a tv signal or radio signal, or even make something fall off the table or wall. Sometimes they're able to move photographs in frames, or even move your mirror in your car to warn you of coming danger. As a medium, I've learned to abandon myself to their subtle ways. In future posts I will give suggestions on how to be more receptive.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Unwanted Communication: Wilhelm of the SS

Last night, at a rare person-to-person reading, as I'm quite ill lately... but this friend came all the way from another country (which I thought meant the US, but it turned out to be South Africa) - and was friends with one of my closest highschool friends, and I had strong painkillers - So I went. I don't regret it, all except for Wilhelm.
A man in a very familiar uniform was standing to my right, and to the woman's left - I assumed it was a spirit connected to her, until I realized he was looking at all of us around the table (5 in all).
"I am Wilhelm," he said, "and I am of the SS." He made my skin crawl. He said 164 - which I thought to be 164 confirmed kills, but I haven't been able to find that number. He wouldn't leave the table, and kept insisting that I listen to him. His face looked as if it'd be burnt with acid. Very proud of his medals, and his rank in the SS (which was high).

When I got home, I had a nasty migraine, one of the worst I'd ever had, so I didn't have time to research until now. Rarely do I find historical ghosts at my side, and even more rarely are they as unsavory as this Wilhelm character.

Who is this man? It was suggested that he is Wilhelm Bittrich, and when I saw his picture - I knew it was him instantly. SS, Wilhelm, the same face, same uniform.. Commander of the 2nd SS Panzer Corps, a heavily decorated officer. This picture isn't the best one of what he looked like in the reading, but it suits the personality that came through! He died when he was 85 years old in 1979...

I don't help certain spirits, and this is one of them! I wanted to publish this small article to let those at the table know who this man was- but I don't want to give him too much "air time" as this may be what he wants.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Lafleche Caves, Gatineau Area, Quebec

On a recent visit to Lafleche Caves, I was surprised to find that I discovered more than bats and a little claustrophobia - but a multitude of spirits! I couldn't wait to share this with you. If you are interested in the website of the cave, please click here for their official website.

First, the pictures:
To the left is a map of where the caves are. To the right is a picture of the opening of the cave.

At first, I didn't see any ghosts at all, maybe because I was focusing more on adjusting to the darkness. We were with a tour of school children (if you book a tour, try booking it with a lot of adults, less screaming and what not.. hehe). Then, after the steep ascent up some very difficult steps (more of a ladder, although I have a physical disability - my friends found it pretty easy), I began to sense them all around me.
First and foremost, there was a little person. At first I thought it was a very short adult that had snuck onto the tour, but as I noticed they seemed to travel through the cave walls - I soon realized that it was a spirit. It was very perplexed that I could see it, I think it was a male - a hunter, a very old hunter from the turn of the 20th century.
Next, I could sense a younger spirit, which later the great tour guide informed us might have been a little girl who passed away in the cave - before the current management, now they have helmets and security measures. After my trip to the cave, I did a meditation on the younger spirit, and saw a thin - very blonde - little girl, with trauma to the head, collarbone, and an arm or a leg - it was hard to tell. She was happy and playful, and wore a pink sweater and blue pants, white sneakers, and cute little white and pink socks. I asked her why she stayed there - to this she responded "the Bats". And she was done talking with me. In the cave there are adorable tiny bats, (which my friend took pictures of - click here to visit the site, and see her great photos of the cave) so I am assuming the little girl either protects them, or enjoys their company. Spirits can sometimes hang around between this world and the next (they don't have to make a choice, they can travel from one place to the other) and become enamored with certain objects, beings, or places. In hauntings, the spirits can become overprotective, too territorial, or just plain greedy - and want to drive any threats to their status quo away.
The spirit that struck me the most was an old man in the exit chamber - the largest chamber that holds the natural ice sculptures in the wintertime. He wore a helmet, and sat on a rock. He had white hair, wore glasses or goggles, had blue eyes or blue-aqua, and seemed to really love it that we were there. He seemed to love that the kids enjoyed it so much, and he also enjoyed the tour guide's words, listening to him with great interest - even though he'd heard the story many times over. He wore a dark parka (blue I think), and dark pants, and was a very positive spirit. He had a great attachment to the cave. Upon exiting, I told the guide about this man, to which he suggested that it might be Mr. Lefleche himself, who really wanted the cave to succeed and be seen. I felt that this was correct, as the spirit seemed pleased with that.
When the guide talked about the hotel that was on the premises before, I felt some angry spirits, I'm not sure why - I wasn't able to contact the spirits much more. One was Native American, very tall, and wore a light brown leather jacket/coat. Very soft coat. The other was a French-Canadian male, around 5"8 with a ruddy complexion, he was missing his left front teeth, and had short brown hair and aqua/green eyes. Those were the stronger of the spirits that were upset at the mention of the hotel.
This cave is certainly a spiritual hotspot, and I look forward to seeing it again. I haven't felt this level of activity in years, the sheer strength of the spiritual energy was felt all around the grounds of the park. This hidden gem is on my list of places to photograph for spirits. If you visited my friend's website, there is one picture where there are so-called "orbs" - I usually don't subscribe to this idea, but since the photo was taken in the room with the highest level of activity - I may just change my mind.

- This article is posted with the permission of the Lafleche Caves management :)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

"Heaven", Suffering, and Creation

The best part of what I do is glimpsing the "other side". Most of the time it's the same thing - the same glorious, beautiful, utopian place. Once in a while, as mentioned previously, I find disturbing images, but I always feel that these disturbing places are never without an exit to the wonderful universe that some call Heaven. Summerland. Shangrila.. whatever you call it, it exists, and many witnesses all claim to have seen/experienced pretty much the same thing. People on the brink of death, sensitives, full blown mediums, people pulled back from death, children, and all sorts of folk have experienced it.

It's never too hot or too cold, there is golden sunlight which isn't too bright. There are lush trees, grasses, flowers, a simply delightful breeze that passes through one's hair. It smells lightly of flowers (many say gardenias), and there's always a pleasant openness to the air - so fresh and vast. There are buildings here, in most accounts - including mind and many other people I have heard from. Red brick buildings, farm houses, homes.. true homes with love and a warm hearth. There is no pain, no fatigue. There are many people, but there is also a vastness to the place that lets you understand that you can be alone whenever you want. There are animals of every kind here. And yes, animals DO have souls/spirits - whatever we have that passes to this place, they have.
Family and friends are here, healthy and happy to see you, long lost ones - ancestral souls that have been keeping an eye on you since your birth. Long dead pets are in their prime. It's true what they say - they're all waiting for you. They gossip amongst themselves as to when you'll finally come home, but are glad for as-long-as-possible lives. Happy healthy lives.
This place can be accessed through dreams, as many people - and possibly you have experienced. It can be pushed upon you by positive spirits that are trying to cheer you up, or give you enough strength to carry on. It is seen by mediums/psychics during readings pertaining to the deceased, which is why I started doing it publicly... as I can't get enough of the energy that this place holds. Meditation, deep trance, and contemplation of this place sometimes grant you access.. it's brief but very potent every time.
It's not all the same everywhere in this place... I see the bright sunny place (which I think is best described as Summerland by certain pagan faiths) as a vestibule to the different places one can aspire to. A home base. A starting point on the great adventure that awaits us. It's like a tree trunk on which you can climb to the various branches of reality that span into eternity.
Nothing is more powerful than a glimpse of this place, and nothing heals like it either. The feeling in the air of this place is that of a really good belly laugh, a hug from your favorite loved ones, a smile of a child.. It's hard not to want to go there right away, but we must understand that our lives now define who we'll be in this Summerland and beyond. We must not leave it early unless it is absolutely what we need to do, otherwise we will miss out on the formation of our souls.
We are clay in this world, to be molded into a very unique configuration - as unique as possible - so that the tapestry of existence is that much more perfect. Our current suffering is not without purpose, every little tear or moan you shed will serve you well in the next world. It develops your compassion, your ethics, your vision of what you are, it develops your true desires and aspirations. Each choice we make is like a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls... without being unique, eternity would be bland, boring, and very much the silent vacuum which we all instinctively fear - that blinking out into nothingness.. Now is the time of building our characters, and death is our birth into Summerland's endless stories, games, dramas, and the formation of an endless family tree of interest. Now we are being carved by our own hands, and the hands of fate.
I believe Eve's bite of the apple was a metaphor for her true knowledge that in order to have interest in eternal existence, there needed to be pain. Suffering. Challenge. The tools for carving truly unique characters. We are one, separated into many, continuously creating new worlds on the Tree of the afterlife. Our lessons are not to teach us to be better people, but to teach us who we are - us as individuals. And through that knowledge, we can truly create a continuously created collective consciousness that is Heaven, forever changing with each new soul.
Without self-definition, individualizing of the One, there would be oblivion. Nothingness. Not even the black of space.

But that's one Medium's belief - of course coloured by the many spirits I have conversed with. What you decide comes after this life - is what will define your particular stitch in the wondrous tapestry of the One that is Many. What you come to know as your Self will carry on after this, forever changing with each breath you take - and each step you take in the next life. Isn't it grand? Sure makes suffering a lot easier to handle.

Namaste!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Taking a short break

Due to some family issues, I'm going to be taking a short break from blogging - I will return as soon as possible. Until then, hugs :)

Friday, October 14, 2005

Happy Scares: Insomnia Buddy

Not every scary moment is bad... sometimes spirits just surprise me. I stay up fairly late due to my chronic sleeping problems, I lay on the comfy couch and surf through the channels, click, click click.. infomercial, women exploiting themselves, news headlines... click, click.. weather channel, click..
Anyway, one of these times my back hurt immensly from my pain disorder, and I was rubbing my back and watching South Park. Yes, I have bad taste.. that's not the scary part ;) - I continued to rub my back when on my shoulders I felt a squeeze, like someone was about to give me a neck massage - so I wondered if someone had caught me awake and was patting me on the shoulder. I turned around, and no one was there.
Most of the time, when I see ghosts, they're NOT apparitions - that is, you can't see them with your normal vision, but a kind of secondary vision (second sight). You see them very differently. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it going into the kitchen - and thought someone was getting themselves a glass of water or something for an upset stomach or sore head.
"What's wrong?" I asked semi-aloud as not to wake the other remaining member of my family.
No answer, but I could hear breathing and the shuffling of bare feet on the tile flooring. I went into the kitchen (I always leave a small light in there when I'm watching tv) and found no one to be there, looked in the connecting sun room - no one there. You can probably see where this is going?
I then saw from the corner of my eye that there was someone standing in the living room. The first thought that went through my mind was: burglar. Because this didn't look like anyone living in my home! I jumped with surprise, saw that I could see the tv through it, and then finally realized it was an apparition. It promptly vanished, but then I could feel it going around the room nervously.
"It's okay," I said, my heart pounding from that earlier fright, "I thought you were a burglar." It's always best to talk out loud to spirits, as sometimes they don't see body language - or read people in other ways very well. Most or all spirits, I'd say, respond to clear speech.
It didn't reappear, but the entire night I could feel a friendly presence in the room. That's a good tip - if the ghost "feels" friendly, like you're sitting in the room with an old friend or a nice neighbor, it's good. If it feels like you're in the room with an ex boyfriend/girlfriend you hate- it's time to tell it to go away and stay gone. Those spirits have a lot of issues and need to work their issues out... unless you can help them, but usually they have things they need to work out on their own. And usually they'll come to mediums/psychics, people that can hear/see them.

Once in a while I'll feel this ghost around. Someday I'll tell you about the Price is Right ghost ... which is quite a good read.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

FAQ: Have you ever seen Hell?

I think so... although it wasn't like fire and brimstone or devils and such. Let me tell you about it.

The man in question had done some rather regrettable things in his life - which I will omit here since detail will make him or the person who got me to do the reading. I doubt she'd want to have this public!

When I tried to contact the man - it came in stages. At first, I could feel utter confusion, panic, feelings of being utterly lost. Secondly, I saw him in a tattered business suit - it was grey with a white shirt and I'm not sure what colour the tie was. Next, I saw his wrist, he was handcuffed to a briefcase. Then finally came the vision that I certainly will never be able to get out of my head.

It was a world of grey rock, black sky, like the surface of the moon I suppose. The terrain was very jagged, and it looked like a mix of lime-stone and perhaps concrete, crumbly yet hard to the touch. I could smell that there was a fire nearby (yep, you can smell in these visions), and it wasn't cold in this place- nor was it hot. It was warm, room temperature. The man wasn't suffering because of the terrain, he was suffering because he was lost. There was an odd lighting in this place, kind of like the lighting at night at a car dealership - you know, well lit by high-up spotlights? But you couldn't see the light sources.

This man had no idea he was dead, that was the scary part. He thought he was still alive, and had to get home - and he had to keep the contents of that briefcase safe. He never showed me what was in the briefcase, he guarded it very carefully "with his life". He didn't communicate very much to me, because he was in a hurry to find his way. I could sense his desperation. He wasn't angry, frustrated, or any other easy emotion - it was all fear and anxiety, but mostly fear.

"Where am I?" He kept asking, although I wasn't sure if he was asking me. I told him that he was dead, assured him that he didn't have to stay there, but he wouldn't hear anything of it. He had somewhere to be, and he was important.

(After the session was over, I reconnected with this vision briefly - although I tried very hard to stay in it (which was probably the big mistake) - and saw that he was still wandering.) His "sins" on Earth had been too much for him, the woman said, he knew he was guilty.

My opinion on the matter is that people who do bad things generally beat themselves up over it. This man regretted, and his remorse was keeping him hostage until he was able to come to terms with it, I hope.. I hope he gets out of there. The feelings of utter loneliness were unbearable, but made me appreciate my own life a lot more. The impression, unspoken, that I got from this place was that it was created by something other than himself, but imposed by him... and that it wouldn't be permanent, but he had a long ways to go. I got the impression that there was love behind this place, but also a great dark warning: do bad things that you know are wrong, and you'll spend a lot of time making it up to yourself. Another impression I got was that the person (and persons around that person - ie. family and friends) that he'd wronged were watching him. Yes, there was a horrible feeling of being watched by vengeful eyes and listened by angry ears.

Lastly, this place was almost deafeningly silent, apart from the man's own breathing and heartbeat - and the occasional slight avalanche of tiny pebbles. And there were no stars in the black sky.

-That's one version of the "Hell" places I've seen. Utopia is much nicer to talk about, but that's for a non-October Post. I like to keep it freaky during this month.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Old Floating Woman

Once, when I was at the Café doing readings, I was doing a routine Tarot reading when there appeared something which chills me to this day. It was an old woman, very white skin, white hair, and no eyes. Her hair was streaming as if it were underwater, floating with unseen currents, and she hovered about ten to fifteen centimeters from the ground. She "stared" in my direction. There was no real colour, it was like looking at a black and white movie - only with a tinge of blue, a very light tinge of blue. Her dress was tattered, torn or moth-eaten, and she was either missing all of her teeth - or they were not visible from my point of veiw. She was barefoot, and not wearing any jewelry. Her hair was long.
As I continued the reading, it became harder and harder for me to concentrate, and finally I asked the woman if she was easily frightened, or if fear/anxiety would make her ill, or if he didn't want to hear about ghosts. I asked in that order, waiting to get the okay before asking each successive question - never, ever, tell someone that a ghost is hovering behind them. It's quite traumatizing for some, and they might not be able to sleep for a week.
It turns out I wasn't the first to see this particular spirit, and in fact others had seen this ghost. And the querant had been having problems with a certain creepy feeling that wouldn't leave her be.
Some ghosts, like this one, will not communicate directly. They won't use words or easily understandable concepts/images. This spirit just looked freaky and hovered, and I have never been able to communicate with her again. In these times, I don't force communication - if the spirit wants to say something, it'll say something. I think the girl needed to know that there was a spirit, I think she knew what it meant to have this spirit near her - but she wasn't going to tell me.

(Keep in mind I'm giving you the spookiest stories this October, there are plenty more non-creepy stories I must relay, but I thought you'd enjoy these ones in the spirit of Halloween. On the 31st-3rd of Nov, I will talk about honoring the dead, thus my spookies will be less frequent..)

Meaty

Oftentimes, spirits will come to me directly, telling me I have to communicate with this person or that person - and they will NOT leave me alone until I do it. If I try to ignore them, bad things happen... so I tend to take care of it right away.

One spirit, which I call Meaty, used to stand at my doorway at night - skinless - or at at the dinner table, he'd stare at me. Something horrible had obviously happened to him. He would just stand there, staring, and you could hear him breathing if you closed your eyes. Sometimes he would leave when I asked, but other times he would be so irate that he'd just end up standing closer to me. He knew that it bothered me the closer he got. The bad thing is, I have no clue who he is - so once in a while he comes back.

What I know about him:
I know that: his skin was burned off, he wore a blue (dark blue-teal) over-all uniform, with a little stylized white "A" on the left breast. Luckily, sometimes he'd be wearing this, so I wouldn't be freaked out (I'm only guessing). He's French, his name is Gui or Jean-Gui. He had brown hair, brown-gold eyes, and a wide nose. He had stubby fingers. He also worked in a very hot place, perhaps with smelting - but I'm far from sure about that smelting part. He had size 11 shoes. He had fairly hairy legs. He was married, a yellow gold wedding band. I'm not sure if he had kids, but he didn't hate children. Something was wrong with his lower lip during life. Maybe he had it pierced/cut or he had oral herpes.

Now of course I don't always call him Meaty.. that would be cruel. Only when he scares me, which is 80% of the time he contacts me.

At some point I will put up a way of contacting me, so if you know Gui, I would really love to know who he is so I can get his message across.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Bone Breaker

Not all spirits I've encountered are benign. Some are downright terrifying. One ghost was haunting a condominium in the downtown area of the city I live in, and its residents were scared stiff. To date, three people have come to me with tales of this particular part of town, with the same story, and the same fears.

The modus operandi of this particular spirit was thus: at first the residents would hear loud stomping in the other room or the other floor, or next door. Very loud, like a grown person was stomping on the ground. Then, the spirit would let itself known through various vocalizations (talking, yelling, moaning, whispering). Then the encounters would get violent and physical.

One couple came to me telling me that the spirit had broken the leg of one of the residents. An unexplained break. They didn't tell me a lot about what lead to this violent outburst, or too many of the details, but they wanted to know more about him.

Summoning a spirit is not what I'd call difficult, someone could do it more easily than tripping over your own shoe laces. Spirits don't live in 3d space like we do, they don't have to take a bus to get to where you are. They CAN wander if they like, in the 3d space, however usually they tend to walk in a different plane of existence. Anyways, back to the record:

It wasn't hard to get to him. Five feet eleven inches, I knew this because of a cupboard that was nearby and someone I knew had stood next to it at about six feet tall, and this spirit was an inch or so shy of it. Dark, I could only see a shadow - not anything distinguishing, more like a silhouette. His hair was wild, that I could tell, shaggy. His clothes were baggy. He was angry - that was not hard to tell. He had died or been buried underneath the building complex, which was no surprised since downtown Ottawa is a graveyard of those whom died building the Rideau Canal.

That was all I was able to get that session. The next time someone approached me about this same spirit (uncanny similarities and when I called to him, he was the same) I got a little more information. He had not been buried like he wanted to, and none of his family knew how he had died. Drinking had been involved, sluggishly he and other workers had continued to do their work - a tool was accidentally embedded into his head, I think a pick-axe but I could be wrong - it felt like a pick-axe.. (I'll explain how they show me in another post). Anyways, they had buried him before anyone knew what happened, as one of his co-worker's had been the accidental culprit. He was drunk and the tool slipped. Not wanting to get into trouble or "slow things down" - they buried him in a muddy grave about one or two miles down the very unfinished canal. His family was told that he had deserted, disappeared, and his coworkers had never come forth with the truth. Something about his blood wasn't pure, I didn't understand exactly what he meant - was he ill? Point being, the coworkers didn't think that much of him because of it.

He's pretty pleased that his tale is getting out. I haven't heard more about that area of town since the session where he told us what happened, although I'm always a little apprehensive whenever anyone approaches me what that particular look on their face, or beginning their email with "my house is haunted".

You might think this creature is in a fire-pit or a black tar ocean of suffering souls, but whenever I see him, he's surely not in there. He was angry, not suffering. Wouldn't you be? I have witnessed a very dark place, when I communicated with a client's ex-boyfriend serial killer. One of my more intense session, but that's for another post :)

Communicative Babies

Frequently, I get parents who want to know what happened to their unborn child, or their stillborn child, or their child that died at a young age. This is most of the time a heart-wrenching session, other times the wounds have healed years before the parents have come to me - and they are just simply happy to know their child has passed on to a brighter place.

*Warning* This contains subject matter pertaining to deceased children, abortions, and abuse, please don't read if these subjects are sore points, or if you have solid beliefs that may cause you to be angry at me - because honestly, I'm too sick to deal with anger!!!!!

Intense Communication:
A memorable session was when a mother and daughter wanted to know about their deceased daughter/sister. I remember lighting the candle (which is just a calming meditative tool, you don't need anything to communicate with the dead) and suddenly not being able to breathe.. it felt like there was a wet rope around my neck, tightening. I immediately asked the spirit to stop and told the two ladies what I had felt - and they informed me that the child had been strangled by the umbilical chord. The child then stopped all neck contact and seemed pleased that her presence was known and proved. I was a little upset that they hadn't told me, but I also understand that they need proof - ghosts love to show me how they died. It's like a badge of honor - a trophy, an anecdote that always gets peoples' attention. The child herself was beautiful, angelic. The family had a painting of an angel that they felt the deceased daughter would look like had she survived - and they were absolutely right, it looked just like that angel. I had seent his picture after the communication with their daughter/sister, so I was amazed at their ability to see what this girl did look like. Families have great connections with their dead, as their dead always seem to hang around during times of hardship. This little girl had always hung around her sister during hard times, and she loved her so dearly. Even though they couldn't communicate back to this little girl - she would always talk to them, especially in times they were in ill health or other times of crisis. Babies that die generally take on a protective role, a VERY protective roll - a guardian that usually is able to exert surprising amounts of energy in times of need. If I had to give a lable to them, I'd call them guardian angels, genderless, beautiful enlightened beings, with a little bit of mischief mixed in. Very playful. They usually like to play in my hair when I do this readings, which really feels ticklish and generally takes my nervousness down a peg - as I am generally nervous during these sessions. Not because of the spirits, but because of the family I am communicating for... as sometimes I can experience very scarey patrons.

Angry Babies:
A man, whom we will call Billy, came into my former place where I used to do Tarot Readings (at a Café) every week. He'd wait hours for me to get there. He smelled bad, looked bad, and I generally was frightened of him. Anyways, he'd always ask about his wife - (they were seperated) - he'd ask the same questions: "is she having sex with anyone" "is she dating anyone" and then he would leave angrily. I always saw these five black patches around him, these very disturbing black blobs that would attack his head, and he'd feel it to some extent because he would hold his head and get grumpier as they attacked him. During one of the last times he was allowed to come in (he was later banned for being threatening and stalking) he opened up and told me that the reason they had separated was that he had forced her to abort five pregnancies... five pregnancies that would have continued had it been up to her. As an abused woman, I suppose she didn't feel like she had a choice, which was dreadfully heartbreaking to hear. As he told me this, I understood what the five black blobs were - they were angry babies, avenging their mother, making sure that he kept away from her. I already knew that he should keep away from her by his ... "energy" and what he said to me, as well as the Tarot Cards generally hating him. When I understood, I communicated with the babies, and felt their anger, knew they were not going to leave him alone until he left their mother alone - and until she was safe forever from him. They didn't say very much to me, but I could feel their power/will wafting across the table like the smell of burning tar. They were pissed!

Aborted Babies:
Now, not all aborted babies are black angry avengers. I have met a lot of women who come to me and cry that their religion states that their babies are in hell!! This is utterly ridiculous, as most unborn children are beautiful lights of peace and love. It all depends on why they died, how they died, and in what mindsets these things were done. Unborn children are very understanding. The five black blobs of anger that surrounded Billy did so to protect their mother and keep this foul abusive man away from her. If a child was aborted in sickness, in crisis, to avoid grave sickness in the child - etc, they will understand. If a child was aborted due to abuse - ie. someone getting pushed down the stairs on purpose... well then they'll haunt the crap out of the person that did this. Oh yes, there are spirits that get angry. I'll tell you about the spirit that broke someone's leg later. Anyways, my personal views on the subject are very blurry, as I am not qualified to make decisions for other people - as I have not lived their lives - so please don't send me hate mail, as I will just delete it and ignore it, and you would have wasted your time. What I can tell you is what I have seen... and I have seen women destroyed by other people's beliefs that what they did was wrong. Their spirit babies feel sad that the women are so destraught, they stay around their mothers and comfort them, tied to this mourning cycle until their mothers are okay again. Which can take years, or even decades. I have seen nothing more dark than the pain of these mothers and their spirit mourners.

Thirty Years of Shared Suffering:
One woman came to me THIRTY years after she had to have an abortion at the tender age of 15, after being abused. Many of her family members stopped talking to her, treated her like a stain, ignored her pleas for help. When she sat in front of me, I didn't even have to ask her why she came, I just saw the great big ball of light next to her head, by her ear, and told her that her baby loves her more than anything. The baby knew the circumstances, but chose not to attack the family member that had abused her mother and fathered her. It was peaceful, loving, and mourning. It was one of the happiest beings I've ever communicated with. The woman, after thirty years, was still destroyed, alone, and abused. Happily, communicating with her child made her life take a turn for the better, and I only hear good news from her.

Living Communication:
Some babies, when they communicate, are alive, but unborn, and they can talk too. They don't say words, but they emanate light, pure emotion, and energy (as in vigor). They are potent potential energy waiting to explode in this world, or the next if they die before their time. I love being around pregnant women, the energy always lessens my physical discomforts caused by my disabilities. Some babies can also communicate if they are ill, if their mothers are ill, and other physical problems or concerns. This is rare, as usually pregnant mothers don't want to know too much - as they are too anxious already. Understandable.