Friday, April 17, 2015

The Future of Medicine (Between 2017-2115)



About This Article

I've wanted to do this for some, another reading that channels directly from a spirit through me and onto the page/ I do not allow the spirits to use my hands or body, but I invite them in my mind to communicate in a very intimate and sometimes terrifying way. I want you to experience as much of it as possible, but I am no poet - a lot might get lost in translation.

The Topic and Method

I hope to engage a spirit who wants to talk about the future of the world, in any part of the world, as it is something universal compared to asking specific questions about specific people - what is usually done. What happens next is that I relax, both body and mind, and try to empty my mind of thoughts. I listen to the chatter, that seemingly endless stream of thoughts I can hear whenever I focus. I call it the Ether, just to label it for conversation's sake. Were I a radio, this would be "tuning" by ear - listening to the sounds as you turn the dial. If I were a TV - well, it'd be channel surfing quickly till I find something interesting to stay on for a few seconds for more of a idea of what the show's about; I find a good show and focus on it without focusing too hard. The more you fine tune the focus, the more your own personal bias can interfere. Bias.. the best reason to check your ego at the door before you continue on the way to a good channeling. It is sometimes good, however, to have some subjects or questions in mind - that way you're focused a little. Today, I want to focus on health care in the future.

The Reading

AIDS\HIV will be cured 100%, a thing of the past in the not so distant future. Definitely before 2100 - most likely 2080. In connection to Turkey (the country) but not just that country. Seems like a global made cure 8 countries. Several cancers will meet their match within a microscopic organism harnessed by scientists and programmed - while others will be cured by a new medicine - yellow, sweet - and pale blue. Skin cancer will be cured by "stripping" skin or something that looks like skin. All cancer will one day be history. I see a flurry of white coats, a woman with what looks like a beard (might be a joke beard?) with a blue turtle neck in a documentary called "How We Cured Cancer", the interviewer has something to do with Hick or Hickey or Hickson - something with Hick. She has noticeable lipstick that is talked about in magazines.. you know like the Blue/Gold dress thing. Something about a vulva or uvula tumor that really speeds up research.

I see a fake yellow flower, with a long stamen.. this is something in a museum next to the "Race to the Cure for Cancer" in a fairly new museum in New York City.. not sure if it exists now in planning, but by 2030 it definitely will exist. "Side road".

I see a cure for Parkinson's... electrical. Looks like an implant of some sort, maybe temporary. It is so much like a pacemaker. Children can even get it. I see a celebration where a horrible tragedy befalls one of the celebrants or staff at the party (feels like both) - a fire or burning sensation.. nausea. I see there are at first some serious side effects that the company has to work out. The company is run by someone who cares about the illness, but not as much as the money he will get out of this. Old man, grey/white short beard. Blue eyes.. the guy kinda reminds me of Englund from Nightmare on Elm Street fame.

I see a cure for something that sounds like "Passonna" or "Passover" or "Passon" - a rare disease or pathogen. The cure itself seems worse than the disease, but it's not as bad after the trials. The trials had a mishap.

Life extension will have humans able to live up to 250 years "guaranteed" - it is a medicine that works on DNA or RNA, a pill you take - it's small and circular, rounded so the edges are skinnier than the center. Dark coloured.. maybe dark wine coloured or dark dusky blue. This pill will cost upwards of a million dollars American. It is a project between America and France. The creators have already started working on it today.. but the actual medication will not come out until AT LEAST 2180. Sorry, not in your lifetime! But there will be something in our lifetimes that will help you live more to 120 years. This is more of a fresh feeling, green, I taste lettuce or smell it, watery, maybe a liquid med or intravenous fluid. This works on "degradation" and is the most powerful source of antioxidants - a synthetic which mimics some plant's ability. A green plant.. I don't see a flower but it's hard to tell.

A major breakthrough in auto-immune disorders such as ALS, MS, FMS, Arthritis, CFS, and Lupus will help half the world's population. It is expensive obviously, at first, but as time goes by and legislation makes history against big pharmaceutical companies' greed (it is 300x more expensive than it should be - the pill should be 20$ each and taken once a day for a year at least). The compound is "dynamite" or "dyna" something related. Refresher. Rolling pin. I see six lines, four squares, and a bunch of balls spinning around an unseen axis. I see 12 ladders screwed up. I see a murder committed over this cure. It is held back by someone big - someone with a blue outfit, big chin, "thirsty eyes". I see a tazer, yellow tape. Even though this is a sad time for the murder's victims (family of the person too etc) - it is rejoiced the world over, many people calling it the single biggest contribution to health care in five decades. I see a "stucky" or "bucky" ball in one fo the newspaper articles about this, Sherry, there is TIME magazine with the cure smack on the cover, another issue has a picture of the team - like a school class photo is arranged. "Medical Rock stars" on another magazine. So many newspaper, blog, magazine, TV articles about it.. It is not only used on auto immune disorders - but has numerous applications due to the type of medicine it is. It has anti seizure properties, is has (weird I see a banana shape) antiviral properties, and it has "life preserving" applications in non related illnesses. Sorry it's hard to channel sometimes.. I know I'm throwing abstracts at you, but it's quite difficult. I see huge names of powerful people, celebrities, and more donating insane amounts of money to help those less fortunate who can't get the cure on their own. I see a sports figure, baseball or basketball, who is at the moment a child but will be an older sports hero at the time, who has his name on a generic cure bottle for some reason. Cereal advertising returns - literally there will be adverts for Virgin and Coke and something called Craze or Crazy that'll be huge. Sorry that was random.

A degenerative bone disorder, I don't know what it is but it's complicated and mostly in the hands, will also find a cure. This time from "Reeds" or "Reids" or "Reads" - I see a connection with Yonkers, I see a connection with Bath or Beth - an inspiration for the cure. I see the moment of understanding came during a day where the wind was refreshing, the person was taken aback by the loveliness of the breeze - and they saw a bug in the wind. That was important.

As the spirit spoke of (spirits) this windy inspiration, I see that bees will finally be cured of the parasite that is killing the honeybees. It might be the wind and bug was a phasing from one thing to another. The cure will come in a bog or swamp. Another micro organism that will "eat" the parasite while promoting health in the bees. Some bees will have a bad "reaction" and will die from it - but not most of them, it's a rare 10% thing.

Lastly, I see something that looks like toothpaste which is a cure for a skin disease - no not a disease, it works to heal operation wounds faster. I see it being applied to a skin lesion and it heals 20% faster with antiseptic properties alike to iodine. Maybe iodine is in it as well.. not sure. This changes field medic technologies and paramedic kits forever.. many people are saved. What a wonderful technology. It even comes in a toothpaste looking container. You apply it to the wound, and gosh it burns - but not bad enough to not use it lol.

Broken bones, especially tricky fractures and breaks, will get help from a small computer - it moves and fixes the bones on the microscopic level - and then is absorbed into the blood stream and passed through urine. You have to then collect the urine whenever you go and give it to the medical office for testing for some reason.. or maybe recycling. It is developed with sports medicine in mind and can have a broken player returned in HALF the normal time. A big win.

Nano bots play a big part in medicine in the future, as do Designer Bugs - little bacteria looking things that are genetically engineered to target specific cells like cancer cells, cells with viruses or viruses themselves, and many blood disorders like high cholesterol. They scoop up fat and enclose it in themselves, maybe even eating fat. Yes. I see that now. The mico organism eats fat and in so, eats some errant hormones? I don't get it much but here you are. The little robots will work with little "noses" or "tongues" to sense the chemical they were programmed to - they bind to it and secrete a substance to either annihilate it or encapsulated. Some of the stuff looks like mucus whereas other stuff is bright hot pink and when you urinate or defecate it out - you see what looks like bright bubblegum pink or Pepto pink. Looks hilarious!! Other ones come out that are a bright electric blue. Some other of the little robots work with "feathering" (no idea ) and others work with tiny little lasso - looking things.

Apart from designer mico organism and nano bots, another big thing that is coming is inhaled medicines. That is going to get a lot more popular. At first I thought it was an inhaler for asthma.. but no - everything from a cancer medication to vitamins tailored to the person. I see a white inhaler that cuts the flu down 90%.

Okay, I am exhausted. I will do this again some time :) Feel free to mail me and tell me what you think. I still get mails now about past readings into the future, and love it. Might not make sense now, this article, but in the future it might. My future reading accuracy is pretty high when it comes to grand scale things.

Love and Hope,

Luciella

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

How to Invite a Spirit into Your Dreams to Converse!

After this article will be an update on a few things, including how my computer is finally saved from oblivion ;) I know I have spoken about dreams and spirits, but now I want to make a post only about it and answering the more popular questions regarding ghosts and dreams.

Can Ghosts Communicate Through Dreams and Nightmares?

In my experience, they certainly can and do so frequently. That is the most plain answer I can give, and as you know - plain answers bore me and I require some elaborative fun.

How Can I Tell if a Spirit is Communicating in a Dream?

The dreams will feel more detailed, more lucid, more like reality. They will be less disjointed and much easier to remember when you wake up.
Sometimes they will lock eyes with you to try and get your attention, eye contact that feels almost tangible - like a warm breeze mixed with quick panic. Sometimes they will walk through your dreams, from one to another, and keep looking at you in that piercing way. I am not sure why they do this, but from what I have gathered it seems like it is the brain's way of perceiving the communication.
Sometimes you will wake up and see them for a split second.
Sometimes you will wake up and smell a sweet smell, or a scent that reminds you of them.
Sometimes you will be unable to wake yourself from the dream, even though you know it is a dream.


Can I Force or Encourage a Spirit Communication Through Dreams?

So far as I can tell, I have never been able to force a dream conversation by will alone - no. But there are probably very gifted people out there who can just force the communication. One thing I do not like to do is force spirits to do anything - and so I have never experimented with such ideas.
Encouraging is another thing. With Spirits, the best thing you can do is talk to them aloud or in your mind - like inner monologue - the way you talk to yourself inside your head. Try this one night:
1. Clear your mind before bed, when you're all tucked in and lights are out. Have a notebook or notepad and pen or pencil by your bed or even a tablet or smartphone or other computer.. Set your alarm to wake you up at an appropriate time in the morning.
2. Breathe in a count of 4 and slower out to a count of 8. Repeat four times.
3. If you are feeling nervous or scared or like something bad is watching you... do not attempt the rest of this exercise until such time as these feelings are gone. When you feel at peace, calm, and happy - that's a green light to continue to step 4.
4. In your mind, I want you to say the name of the spirit you're trying to contact for a good minute or so, slowly and with focused care. If you want to just invite a friendly spirit or patron spirit (someone out to help you) , instead say "friendly, kind spirits" or "guardian spirit".
5. Then I want you to say your goal for that night - for example "I want to communicate with you during my dreams" or "I would like you to give me your guidance in a dream" or "I'm open to anything you have to say while I am asleep" or "I need help, please come to me in my dreams."
6. If you feel happy and calm still, continue to the next step. If you feel scared, nervous, or that "being watched" feeling - red light.. stop and try again another night.
7. Then I want you to use that inner voice and invite them, welcome them, to your dreams. Say something like, "You are welcomed in my dreams" or "I invite you in my dreams" or "You have permission to enter my dreams."
8. Go to sleep. Have no expectations, this might not work the first time, or the first dozen times, or the first hundred. Relax and feel the comfort of your bed and calmed muscles slowly release the tension of the day.
9. When your alarm goes off, let it ring. Do not move your head quickly. Be gentle and slow. Try to remember your dreams and write ALL the details you recall. Sometimes reading over it again can give your memory a kick start to get more goodies. Keep writing until you are satisfied.


Keeping the dream journal is essential. The more you recall your dreams, the more you can recall spirit communications. They are certainly more memorable, but the detail of recall can be improved by writing all your dreams down. If you don't have time to write it all out (I have done this for a long time so I know how time consuming it can be) - use keywords. I will give you an example.


I had a dream that my grandfather was sitting next to me (I have many dreams of my Grandfathers) in the usual parlour he'd have special guests in - you know, one of those fancy living rooms only used for company? Well he used it for his shop too, and I recall loving the furniture and wanting to sit down on this particular chair - but I was too scared to damage it - it was so old and fine and delicate. In the dream, he allowed me to sit in the chair. His bedroom was melded with this parlour, and all the paintings he had there, the vanity, and bed. The bed had some puppets sleeping, and I told my grandfather to stay quiet. He smiled and told me this was just a dream. And we had time to talk the whole night, for what felt like a day in dream time, which I had missed out on a lot as he lived so far from me as a child. 12 hours of driving, in my condition, was not possible after the age of 20ish. We shared our "I love you" and "I miss you" and before I woke up - he told me that he was always there to help.


How would you keyword a dream like this instead of writing it all out? Here's how I do it, maybe it'll give you ideas for your own system.


+Grandpa +Special Parlour +Bedroom melded +Puppets Sleeping +All a dream +Love +Miss +Help


These keywords kinda cheapen the moment, I know, but the words are keys that unlock the full memory. Just remembering the puppets and him telling me about it being just a dream would bring back a lot of details of the conversation we'd had. The melded bedroom and parlour would remind me of the furniture, etc. Having these keywords and reading them aloud to yourself really sustains the memory for longer. Dream journaling has greatly increased my dream recall.


A last important note about recording dreams - if spirits say things that stick out.. like lines you remember more clearly - such as "watch out for the red car with the black spoiler" (from an old dream journal entry of mine) - do not just key word it. Keyword AND quote. Not paraphrase, but a direct quote as sometimes there are double meanings or subtleties you might have missed while dreaming or while recalling the dream for the first time.


What do I do with the Dream Journal?

Well, you leave space to write what happened that day, the next day, and so on - and see if there are any correlations with the dream. You can also use it to remember the wonderful moments you spend with spirits. Sometimes spirits will warn you about something, and so it's a good thing to be able to look back in the journal for clues to what you need to do or avoid.
Keep the journal away from others, especially bully types and people who just don't get anything that isn't taught in schools. Some people do not understand dream journaling and mistake it for something negative or even against their religion. So as with anything in these lines, keep it to yourself and those you trust not to use such things against you.
Refer to the dream journal as often as you are curious. Spirits will often nudge you to go back to a clue. You could get a sudden need to look at it, or even an image in your mind of the journal or the dream(s) will flash in your mind. Use it as a generalized journal or have a separate journal to write down the happenings of the day - that way you can compare.


I hope this has been helpful, or interesting!
Thank you for reading my rambles, and take care of yourselves.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Testing, testing, 1,2,3!

 
Apologies for missing my weekly post (been trying to post every Friday but the app I was using crapped out, so now I am using another app.) This is a post in progress - I wanted to post something soon to keep up with my Friday posting time (near it) and now you can see what I am working on!


As I mentioned in last Friday's post on Lucid Dreaming (Part 1) - I recently purchased a so-called 'mind machine' and it arrived a few days ago much to my excitement. This type of machine, so you don't have to go back to the other article, modifies brainwaves using light and sound. Here's a pic of the one I got...

 (my new program sucks right now, I am sorry for the lack of photo..)

I blurred out the name as I don't advertise for free, especially before I have had a chance to use it and research enough to endorse it. This is one of the budget units but from what I read, it all does the same stuff, some just have more bells and whistles.

 Primarily I got this to help reduce pain and relax myself. The glasses have LEDs that flash light in varying speeds, patterns, and colour. The headphones make a beeping, pulsing sound. The controller lets you select what program you want to use, the volume of the sound, and the brightness of the light.

  Why am I showing you this? Well I am quite interested to use it and measure what effect (if any) it will have on my ability to see spirits, hear them, communicate with them, etc. A test, experiment, trial. It is also a good lead in to the Lucid Dreaming Part 2.  I want to if I either slow down or speed up my brainwaves: will it change my extrasensory perception? I will do more experiments in the future as this is just a little test.   

 Hallucinogens and other mind altering drugs have long been used in the quest to contact the dead. From fungus to synthetic compounds, even secretions from animals, it has been a long and crazy road for us humans. Now non-medicated biofeedback has long been used also, in trances for example and meditation, to do the same. It all comes down to changing our perception and states of consciousness. I am not going to do weird drugs. I do not condone the use of them, but I also do not think people who go that route safely and reasonably should be punished. With binaural beats, isochronic tones, mind machines, strobes, etc - there is a way to get into certain mind sets without drugs and without dangerous side effects if you know what you are doing. Use at your own risk, be careful my friends.

 I truly want to find out what is better for contacting spirits the most effectively: Intense Beta Waves, Mellow Alpha Waves, or  Sleepy Theta Waves. Beta is the wave you are in when you are stressed, alert, it is very common especially in our cultures' fascinating frenetic pace. Alpha state is when you are mellow, centered, meditating, truly relaxed but still aware. This is the place I usually aim for when I contact spirits, after nice meditation to center myself and be ready for frightening moments, etc. It is also how I have been taught. Theta waves represent a state of dreamy sleep, it is hard to be conscious when you are in this state but with some hard work I want to try and get there and record what I say - as I have often had amazing encounters in this state.. and I want to know if what I saw was dream or the perfect place to be to contact the deceased. Here we go!   For each, I will be asked questions I have no way of knowing to test for an extrasensory eve. I will compare the outcome's success rate in each section. I will post the results in the following section:  

 1. High Beta Waves
 2. Alpha Waves
 3. Theta Waves

Friday, March 20, 2015

Lucid Dreaming Foundation: Meditation

(this post, for some reason, didn't publish two Fridays ago.. so here it is and apologies for the wait and confusion)

Lucid Dreaming: the ability we have to be aware, even control, dreams and access dreams as a way to connect with other parts of our consciousness.
 

(If you want to skip some anecdotes and backstory, and would prefer some applications, head to the second part of this article, as marked by a headline: Part 2) 

It is a long, difficult path for many people to lucid dream. Many people stumble upon it, never again to experience it again. Some people make it their life's work, such as the awesome Stephen LaBerge - a name nearly synonymous with lucid dreaming, and some people think it's a load of bull. We, as people of open and inquiring minds are used to the latter people.. people that close their minds to such important ideas. Not to say that skeptics are bad, they are necessary, but there is a gaping chasm between skeptic and stubborn closed mindedness. 

My opinion and experiences are of the observation that consciousness is more than what we are taught and that exploring and opening it would bring about massive benefits to society. Imagine a world where we're partners with our subconscious! So many misunderstandings in the world are caused by projecting our own subconscious emotions onto others. More problems are caused by emotional repression and misinterpretation etc. Anyways, this is besides the point of the article, I don't know how I feel - or more importantly: how you feel about my long social opinions ;) This is a diary about spirits, not politics! 

In my quest for pain management, as well as my mission to unravel more truths about the unseen universe, lucid dreaming has come up many a time in my meditation study. I have been meditating for well over a decade (almost two) since my pain began to affect my schoolwork in grade school. I was introduced to a guru who opened up my mind to such things. He was amazing. He could see that I saw spirits, and he saw the same ones I did.. I was thrilled to meet someone like him with such an open mind and such experiences! Being dead, I have often tried to contact him since I heard of his death - as contacting him in life seemed near impossible. He wasn't "connected" to anything. No phone number, no address, no email (back then I was only a BBS frequenter and some IRC so email would have been near useless anyways) but I would see an alternative magazine with his smiling face in the "Upcoming Talks" section and would want to go see him but never had the guts to do so. I felt he wouldn't have remembered me or if he did.. would he be disappointed by my lack of progress? One of the things we had talked about on our meeting (an intimate gathering of about fifteen people, in which I totally hogged his time.. or maybe he hogged mine lol) was lucid dreaming. This was a new word to me, a new world, a new thought. I thought half seeing spirits was the be all and end all of my abilities.. but opening a world of conscious dreaming seemed like a fairy tale come true! I imagined sleep being another phase of being awake.. time no longer "wasted" just being unconscious at night! I imagined how much creative work I would get done, studying for school, and learning to block my pain... 

But that is not what lucid dreaming is, and I was disappointed and it was drifting back into the obscurity of forgetting. I thought that if it wasn't all that, then it wasn't worth the hard work. Oh was I wrong! 

The journey of lucid dreaming is half of the importance of the thing! 

When you work on lucid dreaming, the best way to start is by learning to meditate, in my opinion. Learning to feel the different levels of awareness (aka Different intensities of brain activity, such as Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta and Gamma waves you hear about {including from yours truly}) and what each level of awareness does to your mind and body - and more importantly in the context of this article and blog: spirit. There is SO much more to people than current cultures allow to grow. We're stunted by fear, prejudice, closed mindedness, stubbornness and ignorance. What potential wasting away! So many answers hide inside of us due to this cultural boundary.. but I am so glad there are people like you out there.. people interested in that potential, people who dare to challenge social taboos. Responsibly, of course. 

The more I explore these levels of consciousness, the more I begin to strengthen and widen my bridge to the dead and the other amazing things out there to be beheld. Consciousness and mastering consciousness is what defines a spirit after it is freed from its fetal stage as a human. The most vibrant of all spirits are the ones who challenged the status quo of the mind and developed it... Mmm I could write an entire book about this.. let's get on to the more practical applications. 


Part 2: Lucid Dreaming, Starting Your Journey
I want you to start your journey as soon as possible. I want you to open the wrapped present that is your mind and take it out for a real test drive. I want you to hunger for more and start exercising the most important muscles of your infinite existence. No time like now. 

The first video I am making is a guided script to build lucid dreaming muscles, but it'll take a while to complete as I am a bit of a finicky creator. I want this to be the best it can be to give you a great head start. But what can I do to help you before that? The answer comes from a wonderful guided meditation guru, Jody Whitely. https://m.youtube.com/user/jodywhiteley 

Ms Whitely has been an unknowing companion to my sleep since I discovered his videos. Great guided meditations, free and very well scripted and executed. These meditations include Lucid Dreaming scripts. When you have time, go see those, use them during a nap or in bed before you go to sleep at night. The scripts are deceptively simple! Everything down to the pacing of the words, the tone, the volume, and pitch are all used to change your consciousness. I am a little shy but I hope to mail her sometime and thank her for the help. If her voice irks you, just remember - it is done in a special way to aid the meditation. It is not just a guided meditation, but a type of hypnosis. Don't worry, you won't cluck like a chicken or suddenly have the urge to buy strange products, you are completely in control. (And this is not an ad for anything! I am not getting anything for the suggestion to go and use the videos.) 

An alternative is to use what's known as "Binaural Beats" - which just means putting on headphones and sounds are used quickly between left and right in order to create a trancelike state to adjust your brainwaves. Just think of two drums, one left and one right, being drummed almost at the same speed. Your brain can hear the difference and it is trying to synchronize the beats of the drums to close the tiny gap, as human brains like orderly sounds. The gap's size, that is - the time between the left drum and right drum's beat - changes the brain's work to close this gap and this affects the brainwaves. So you can slow it down and speed it up in order to change your brainwave from fully awake, to asleep and dreaming. Amazing stuff. This isn't new.. practitioners of shamanic magic and Vodun (Voodoo) have long used this to enter trances by using drums and other percussive instruments. With technology, you can do this alone and without the arm pain if you're new to drumming ;) 

Isochronic tones are a different technique but work on the same principle to have a similar effect with the same goal. It's a fancy way of saying: a pulsing sound characterized by periods of silence and sound in varying pitches and speeds. The sound wave itself usually looks like a string of beads. These tones use the same type of gap closing mechanism in the brain and can be used alone or in concert with binaural beats. These do not require headphones, and that is the biggest advantage. 

If you really want to get fancy, there is a thing called a Mind Machine which incorporates sound and lights (from a weird looking pair of sunglasses you put on) to have a more global gap closing effect. I have recently (today) completed a four year mission to find one at an affordable price and I will review it upon getting the machine. Hopefully I can get some ad revenue lol.. although money will never change my opinions. I couldn't live with myself*. Anyways, try free stuff before you spend hundreds on a Mind Machine - I found one for just a tad over a hundred dollars and mainly it is to help with my pain.** 

If you are unwilling or tentative about each of these suggestions - then I suggest you get a good book about meditation and start there. Different people require different methods, so it is hard to suggest a book. Personally, I prefer Pranayama - breathing exercises which I use to enter deep meditation. Some people prefer attempting Zazen, a Zen meditative state of completely clearing he mind. Others prefer visualizations, or even what's know as a Talk Down, or even a rocking back and forth for hours for example. Find your way! 

I will post about this again soon, I am planning for next week, to take things to a new level for opening up to spirit communication. I wanted to get this out to get you started on the meditation aspect.


*Even when I speak a wrong word, hurtful or just wrong, it haunts me more than some spirits do. I recently began to make amends (I am not in a 12 step program but in a conscience clearing mission of my own artifice) for all the big and little things I have done in my life. One for such a slight error as saying they were booty-full instead of beautiful as a joke.. even though I am rather fond of big rumps, I found out that she was, unfortunately, not a fan. I couldn't fathom the kind of remorseful hell I would go through would I lie to my readers after being a proponent of honest relating of experiences. What I tell you is the truth as I know it, and not only do I do this as a show of respect, but also a hope that one day everyone will relate their experiences truthfully in use of future of study - edification is useless if based on lies - and lastly, I cannot stand more hauntings of wrongdoings. The biggest wrongdoing was during a time of duress, I broke a friendship in impatience of her being inconsiderate of my illness. We're both wrong, but I take the onus of apologies. See why I asterisked this note? Would have been totally out of context in the article. Goodness, I can't even imagine how much I would suffer would I commit a crime.. or God forbid, kill someone... when even saying one wrong word haunts me for years!

 **I have actually been searching for the device since a physiotherapist used it on me once and refused to let me use it again. It actually stopped my pain looping.. pain looping is when someone hurts you and the sensation repeats over and over again. For example, if someone pokes me in a non trigger point area, I feel it for at least 20 mins. After his treatment, the looping disappeared! I cried with joy and asked for more. Later, he said. So I waited and paid him nearly 2k during only three sessions (or was it two) - a great chunk of the money was for blood tests, DNA profile, and adrenaline profile.. but then the treatment would be (for three months) another 2 thousand dollars! I couldn't afford that! Only after the hook did he tell me the price. So I have studied the machine (he wouldn't tell me what it is or where to get it) and tried to find a name.. and I found it! But then I had to find one I could afford. Now, for the price of two of his "treatment sessions" - less if one includes the travel costs and time and energy - I can do it at home? Oh wow.. I have high hopes but as always - low expectations. Easier not to get hurt that way. I will keep you updated.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Update

Greetings, fellow open minded beings and all round awesome folks!

So I have some big plans for Dead Conversations. It is one of the positive, motivating factors in my life even during the worst part of my illness. Your letters and readership mean so much to me and continue to be a source of healing and hope. I want to get more involved and bring more content and experiments and different media such as videos and photographs and such.

So here's what I am working on:

Guided Meditation Audio/Video by myself - basically tools I have found helpful to developing and opening the senses necessary for spiritual contact and the Connected Inside. Explanation! When I am in deep openness of mind and spirit, there is a place my mind and senses go that allow me to see such amazing things: some call it the Astral Plane, others call it the Ether, Universal Consciousness, some call it a Psychic Highway (I like that description!) and others make up allll sorts of names and descriptions of so much variety and great poesy and wisdom that blows the mind. For me, I try not to label things, but labels are good for communicating and so I will use something that feels right to me: The Connected Inside. It is so deep inside consciousness, at the barrier between conscious and subconscious - and yet it is connected to so much. From what I have read, the countless articles, books and sacred texts - it seems to connected to the Collected Consciousness / Universal Consciousness but also it accesses the deepest, oldest part of yourself and purest part of yourself. Sometimes I spend way too much time there, but I always find something, some tidbit of life changing information or perspective change or spiritual connection. I want to share this and help in your quest for spiritual awakening. My quest is never done, I don't think there is such a thing as an end to it, not as an embodied soul - but that is only opinion.

Representation of Auras and Spirits - I have been asked and I'd like to show you what I, personally see, with the caveat that auras are hard for me. Why they are hard is that when I am about to have a migraine (can be daily, weekly, monthly) - I also see haloes, which are glowing lights people see in the beginning phases of migraines. So Sometimes I am unsure as to what I am seeing.

Forum for you to connect to others in the same or similar quest for the hidden worlds.

Reader Mail segments where I answer mails on the website itself. I have issues balancing letter-writing and writing of this journal AND the medical treatments I need to do daily - It has long been suggested that I do letters on here.

Facebook and Twitter accounts, if the forums don't work out as well as I hope. I am not one for big site socialization, as anything you say can be used by those companies.. I really dislike that. I would hate for your privacy or intellectual property would be stolen. The thing I like about this blog is that it is a cozy family, a trusted space for me and hopefully you. Twitter would seem to be useful to announce new posts, hopeful live-streams one day, and videos etc for those who use it often.

Lastly, experiments! My favourite thing! An example of an experiment is to get some sensory equipment while I am in the same room as a spirit, or while I am doing a reading - to see what is set off, and what is not. Another example would be trying to connect with a historical figure, or doing past life investigation.

Today I think I might actually finish a video today, and if so - I will add a link when I finish!

Thank you for reading. Have a sweet day!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Increased Spiritual Activity

I like to have connections with spiritual people around the world in order to have a network of senses for times of increased or decreased spiritual activity. It gives me a good sense of the ebbs and flows of either spiritual forces or the human perception of those forces. One big thing about my research into spirits is that I try to see it from many perspectives to understand them and what souls really are - my main intellectual focus in this time I have here in a body. My, and dare I say OUR main purpose is to learn, help others learn, and to love. In this article (which I wrote already but it was rudely deleted by happenstance), I want to talk about preliminary findings of my experience with this web of senses, and also my personal experiences with increased spirit activity. First off, clarity of communication is required, I think.

Definitions
In order to describe spiritual concepts to the fullest, I want to define the words or phrases I use which cause me concern. Part of this is to describe my experiences accurately so that you may delve into them, and without elucidation of some abstract feelings or concepts I will use in this article, I would fail miserably. Definitions can vary from post to post, and when they do, or when I want to update them, I will have a definition list.

Spirits: Non corporeal phenomenon associated with Earthly life. That is, our bodiless souls and that of animals and other life on Earth.
Spiritual Activity: Changes, either rapid or slow, sensed in spirits. This can be movement, communication, changes in projected appearance, changes in mood, or even the type of communication - are they showing me images or using a direct flow of thoughts?
Movement (when used with the term spirits): although it seems like spirits can be in many places at once, including the commonly used term "Other Side" with its revolving door (so to speak) - sometimes spirits move in this world as if they were still living - ie. walking down a street or walking up stairs etc. I use movement in this Earthly context.
Other Side: A place where spirits can be that is ostensibly not on Earth but seems to be like a shared creative place. What you wish can be made to a certain extent, and many spirits go there to meet each other. I have been privileged to be shown this place and it is the most beautiful place I have ever witnessed. It seems to be a meeting place, a world that is beyond massive and has a perfect, dreamlike quality of eternal peaceful creativity and sunshine and grace. I like to call it Heaven as it seems to fit the bill. I have spoken to many people that have seen the same place and it fills me with joy that when my education here on Earth is done, I will get to walk there as opposed to just being shown.
Spiritual Abundance: A grouping of spirits much larger than what is normal for the area, time, date, etc.
The Web: A group of trusted people around the world that let me know when spiritual energy is high, spiritual activity is higher, and unusual spiritual phenomenon is witnessed. I find trust when they are consistently on par with the rest of the web nearby etc.


The Web
Although I would like to have more people in the Web*, the small group already has given me insights into the spiritual world. I am so grateful to those who are giving invaluable advice on the subject.
Spiritual Activity ranges from barely visible to impossible to ignore, and can be terrifying or beautiful or even funny or cute. I have often watched spirals of joyful spirits congregating and finding happiness in groups and in the sensations of their mingling. It makes me so happy that others have seen this too and revelled in it as I have on many occasions.
A friend in South East Texas and one in Orange County, Florida recently observed a long chain of spirits - flowing from coast inland. One saw this as a single spirit, the other as a group of spirits - but they both observed the strange and massive energy at the same time! A friend in Yugoslavia witnessed increased spiritual energy - a feeling of dread and warning - just before a friend in Japan felt the very same thing, both felt it again the next weekend. I couldn't find anything in the news like an accident or abnormal news story, and neither of them sensed more than that dread. To my knowledge, neither of them had felt that before or since. Maybe these events will share no earth-shattering secrets, but they let us know things that may help in our understanding of spiritual existence and behaviour. Like pieces of a puzzle in which the final image is unknown.
One thing I have learned through the Web so far is that spirits can travel in our physical world. They can move like weather systems or migrations of animals, sometimes with clear purpose.. others baffling. A group of spirits was over England and France for the better part of a year! Why? Who are they? Were they watching humans like a reality TV show.. or watching loved ones? Or perhaps there are groups of spirits like this all the time and they mostly go unnoticed. Questions! The more questions that lead to questions, the better. Getting a plain answer is just no fun ;)
I have often read about groups of spirits being present for sporting events, especially grand do's like the Olympics (including special and para), the Grey Cup, the Super Bowl, the Stanley Cup playoffs, World Series, etc. Or around accidents or battlefields, hospitals, inaugurations and coronations, even around the filming of a movie!
And so, as I find helpful many times, I put myself in the shoes of a spirit. They, like their corporeal neighbours (us), are curious. Humans are still humans once dead - I mean sure there are grand changes° like a second, more drastic puberty, but they are still humans. Some are rubber necks and want to see what happened in an accident, just like some humans, or they want to help the newly dead•, or even try and help the living in the accident by swaying others to find them or change a detrimental treatment. Humans also love to be entertained, and as I have posted before (The Importance of Entertainment and Theaters ) dead humans are no different in that aspect. Sure they have new, unimaginable to us, entertainments such as blending thoughts and creativity - but there are things like good old movies and sports and theatre and concerts and so much more here on physical Earth that never seem to outgrow their awesome appeal.
More to come on how to join the Web, not sure when but I am doing my homework on forums etc. I would have to set up ads or donations to keep a good forum going however.



Personal Experiences with Increased Spiritual Activity
Throughout my life I have seen spirits in small numbers and massive numbers. From seeing only a spirit or two a week to beholding a countless mass of individual spirits in a single hour or day.
Recently, as it inspired this post, I saw a rise in spiritual activity and abundance - I went from seeing a surprisingly low number of uncommunicative spirits to a large group of talkative and quickly changing spirits. This event occurred Friday the 30th of January 2015. Locally, I could not find anything that day, before it or after it that would drum up spiritual activity. Globally, well most spirits are immensely agitated. I don't want this to be about the warring going on, perhaps I will do a post about what spirits think about this war but it's pretty straight forward - violence creates violence and damages souls. People who gladly die in their cause find the afterlife unpleasantly haunted by their past deeds. As a spirit reads the words I type, he says, "always war continues without because it continues within."
Sometimes it's the time of year. The period between mid October and mid November has always been a time of increased clarity of my communications with them, also increase activity. Never fails. I have spoken to others that agree and sense the same. World cultures have found this period to be the 'thinning of the barriers between the living and the dead' - a time when spirits can be seen or felt more heartily. I have often pondered why. Is it because of Harvest Time in the Northern Hemisphere? When Harvest is done, there is more time to turn the mind inward, time to think about life and what life's harvest will be. Is it the reminder of death from deciduous trees shedding their leaves? But some Souther Hemisphere countries feel the same increase at this time. Is it due to the Earth's position around the Sun? Or is it something more? Perhaps our minds are turned to the coming Winter and the hardships therein, and we are more apt to pray for help? I don't know, what I do observe is that that period of time increases the clarity of communications, the clarity of my perception of spirits, and I gain and lose more energy** from communications.
When I am in too much pain to bear, I notice spirits will generally flock to observe, help lessen the pain through contact°°, or even try and distract me from the intense pain.
When there is a death nearby (car accident, hospital patient, etc) - spirits will congregate - I sense their communication, a welcoming feeling, a feeling of relaxed calm, everything is alright.. and best of all, of reunion. Blessed reunion with long dead family members and friends.. and pets. What a wonderful universe we live in where death is merely a "see you later" and not a full goodbye. I don't want to bring my religious beliefs into this, as I want you to just experience what I experienced, not the beliefs of my faith. I am to reverent of it to ask spirits more about such things.
Increased spiritual activity reminds of of a flock of crows, marking where death may be but not always. Sometimes it is an item of curiosity. Sometimes it is a congregation of beings. Sometimes entertainment. I just wanted to share the image, although I am not saying that spirits of humans have less intellect or whatever.
Sometimes increased spiritual activity is seen within a single spirit.. When I ask a question they don't want to answer or a question they were hoping you'd ask, spirits can change their energy from slow and nebulous to moving faster than hummingbird wings as they beat to stay in air. Changes in speed of communication, changes in volume of communication both intensity wise and bulk wise of content.
Sometimes, a spirit is upset, and can change from being a flicker in your peripheral vision to full manifestation. Spirits do not manifest willy nilly, it is major concentration and intense intent for being seen. It is a message in itself, and in scary encounters, it almost always means get out. I call it the GTFO Stare ;) . This is what typically happens in hauntings of homes when it was a previous owner. This is its territory and it wants you out. Manifestation (in physical form viewable by anyone) is another subject I would like to share, perhaps the rarest spiritual activity of all.
In joyful encounters, manifestation's message is often much nicer.. although there are spirits that have no idea what they look like to views and malicious hauntings can be inferred from such a benign intent. So instead of you seeing a cute little girl waving and being kind.. you see a small humanoid shape with black holes for eyes and no lips! I have had panic attacks seeing such spiritual communications, sometimes running away much to my later regret, but I am still trying to be brave and patient with them. Think about it this way - you are pure spirit and can show yourself to a living human (who may or may not believe in ghosts) but you must concentrate your consciousness into a form by willfully concentrating on each part all at once.. but your time is limited as the person you want to show yourself to might leave any minute. Arms, check. Legs, check. Dress, check. Hands and feet, check. Okay time to wave or smile.. oh crap.. I forgot lips, I forgot eyes.. ears.. oh dangit.. Sometimes spirits will correct themselves quickly enough to relax the living person.. sometimes they'll be confused and won't know what they forgot. Why was the person screaming? Don't they see you're their long lost sweetheart? Rude! Most spirits stay away from manifesting as it often is more trouble than it is worth. As a fun exercise, try picturing each part of yourself, then try smiling meanwhile thinking of all the changes in the face that smiling creates.. and you will begin to truly understand why some spirits smile but have a blank expression on their face. Moreover, try other things like walking, talking, etc. This gives us a great understanding of why spirits are scary or off-putting when manifested, and explains a great deal of why most try to just show an image of something like a symbol of letters etc instead of full body motion. Some spirits have it down pat, though.



A Few More Words
There are hundreds, maybe even thousands of reasons spirits change their activity level, from a local death to a global trouble, from a wrongly worded question to a joyful moment, from manifestation to a period of thoughtlessness. Sometimes it can be as simple as being excited by an event, person, or comment, and other times it can be complex and as yet unknowable. I have shared some observations and I look forward to add more friends to observe around the world, and I am always glad you take interest in my humble writings. At the core, it is a weight lifted when I share these things, it's akin to knowing an amazing secret and not being able to tell anyone for fear of hatred, rejection, or cruelty. The internet is a boon, a pre-spirit form that lets us communicate in ways that were once impossible unless you were a spirit. The time we have here to learn in physical form is of the utmost importance, and gathering together in shared interest is a wonderful way to learn. As always, I thank you for your letters and again - as always, it can take even years for me to reply depending on my illness and workload - but, again that word always, I cherish each letter dearly.







*I am currently setting up a type of forum where spiritual activity can be shared, but finding a way to keep spammers and the aptly named "trolls" out is a deep concern of mine.

°Changes such as no hunger, no thirst, no physical pain, no nagging hormones, no sleep - of course this is a leap of observation. I have known spirits to lust after other spirits and humans, to hunger at the sight of a cake, to feel some sort of pain and have a kind of sleep.. It's just different as far as I can tell. I am still asking and asking them, when they'll have me.

•Being newly deceased can be an extremely confusing time. It seems to greatly help to see other spirits when you are newly dead in order to realize that you are indeed dead. One of the tragedies of spirits is when someone thinks they are still alive, it can take much time to realize without the aid of others. Family usually helps, but if no one knows you that is dead, there isn't always a helpful spirit to find you right away - although it usually starts to be extremely plain when they are unseen by other people. This doesn't happen often, and it all seems to work out in the end.

**Communicating with spirits can either give me energy or take it. I do not know the cause but I have some ideas - such as some readings require more concentration, some readings are depressing emotionally, some readings are uplifting, some readings give me hope for the cure for my illnesses, etc. When I say energy, I mean the difference between feeling energetic and feeling fatigued, not some otherworldly force or light or sensation.

°°There is a spirit close to my heart who will put his large hand on my back as he did when he was alive, I feel this amazing sensation - like a bright sunbeam that doesn't burn mixed with joy and peace. It's amazing and wonderful and ah! so inspiring. He isn't always paying attention to me, he has many others in the family to look after lol, but when my pain is nasty enough, he just seems to sense it and comes to my aid.









- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad



Monday, February 02, 2015

Missing Posts

The last three posts I have written have been deleted or disappeared. I don't attribute this to spirits, nor do I attribute it to only computer error. When I am tired I forget things like multitasking on tablets can sometimes lose me a great amount of writing! That, and I need to save more often. Apologies and I will get some posts out this week, I hope ;) Thank you for being a reader :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The Tower of London

When I was a child of nine or ten, I visited the Tower of London, amongst other amazing places. The juxtaposition of a beautiful prison with a history of nightmares and a museum of wonders baffled me at the same time as the spirits within chilled and amazed me.
Early on I realized that other kids don't see spirits - and as I got older and older, many reacted badly to me speaking about seeing spirits. So I had a strange relationship with spirits. Vacillating between thinking I was nuts and knowing I was seeing incorporeal humans- I kept it mostly to myself and tried to forget a lot of what I saw which disturbed me. Of course, now I know as an adult that trying to forget often makes the memories even deeper. The Tower being one of those places I tried to put into the "forget" category.
I saw as many spirits as I saw tourists on this busy day. People walked right through the spirits every minute - causing the static feeling from this meeting of spirits - the spirits sometimes greatly angered for a moment but returned to their duties. Guards, prisoners, officials, royals, deceased tour guides even - ancient and recent - all going out their days as if time bore no meaning.



So many spirits realized I could see them, and stared back at me. Eyes fixed in contact with mine, stopping their paces and searching my face or form for something. Maybe they were curious, maybe upset, maybe they tried to see what was similar between other mediums and myself? My communications were limited as a child, I can sense emotions and see pictures and sense the sense communications now - whereas as a child I could only hear them clearly when they tried their hardest. Time hones the ability if you focus and experiment. That moment, I felt like crying, I recall. Tens of eyes watching me before going down a set of tight stairs. I don't recall all of them, but let me share what I do remember.
There was a man in fancy red uniform, similar to the modern "Beefeaters" - officially known as Yeoman Warders - only the uniform was a darker red, less intense, and I remember the fancy golden embroidery was more intricate and busy. Some had black uniforms around him, faces hidden behind a blur of dark grey for a reason I've never been able to find out. He had a red beard, extremely well kept, a sceptre/mace, and beautiful blue-green eyes like the colour of shallow tropical waters over white sands. He smiled at me, but also had a severity about him. He tried to speak to me in some strange sounding language I thought must have been Scandinavian or a heavily accented Gaelic, which I found out later in school was Old English when my class learned the Canterbury Tales by Chaucer. (Wonderful stuff if you've never read, hilarious) I remember the first few pages read by the teacher giving me a big smile as I realized it had been what the Yeoman Warder had probably been speaking. Not 100% sure of course, but it fits in many aspects. His tone suggested he was warning me to go, or telling me I was being naughty and should stop, or maybe even asking me what I was doing staring at him lol. He stood in front of a painting or tapestry or something, I forget, but it was easy to stare at him pretending I was admiring the antique artwork. Well I did that too, I'm sure.
Another figure that stuck deep in my mind was a photographer that was dressed oddly. He had long brown, straight, hair and brownish eyes I seem to recall, but his clothes were : a hip length light brown leather jacket with the edges tasseled as if someone had cut out strips of the leather (like you see on stereotypical movies about Native Americans; light blue jeans with turquoise coloured stones on the pocket in a mosaic pattern (can't recall the pattern); leather sandals - with socks!; and a hair band of the same leather. He was taking photos everywhere and didn't notice me as he seemed busy. The camera was very realistic.
Next was a tall woman in tights and a t-shirt. That's all I recall.
The most interesting of the people I saw appeared when the guide came to a real used chopping block for executions. It was a woman in a dark red and black dress, crying incessantly. She had a veil of lace over her face and screamed out in thickly accented (don't know what region of French it'd be) French - "arrĂȘte!" (Stop.) She didn't see me and tried to knock over the block with her small booted foot. As quickly as she appeared, she disappeared. Was it a woman who was executed? Or someone who had spectated the death of a loved one? I don't know but it coloured history for me deeply when it came to executions. No longer was it a two dimensional fact, I felt so sad and horrified whenever it was mentioned. I am glad I can no longer remember the depth of the emotion she exuded, as it haunted me for years after.
Even though there were terrifying moments, it was also fantastic to see the building steeped in history as much as spiritual energy. Were some of the spirits echoes of a horrible situation? Or were they all spirits with thoughts, feelings, and afterlives? I don't know what those echoes or event loops are, but I have seen them, or something that looks a lot like them. I'd have to visit again to get a feel for the place as an adult, when my health permits far in the "maybe" realms.
Have a lovely day, I hope to write again soon.






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Monday, November 17, 2014

My Questions.

Sorry it's been so long, it wasn't intentional - never is, I do love what I do.

The gift I have, that I think we all have, that sense not yet accepted by the human powers that govern us, is a Gift. All of our senses are gifts. They aren't owed to us, they aren't our right, they are gifts to be cherished and used and grown and understood.

Being such a mocked and shunned sense in so many places makes it a challenge to hone the gift. We walk, arms outstretched in the dark, trying to find what works and what doesn't, sometimes going the wrong way for years and walking further and further away from what does work.

What helps me the most is striving to answer questions. Sometimes I realize I've been asking the wrong questions - sometimes I am disturbed, shocked, by some of them. Spiritual forms aren't likely to answer your questions clearly, or at all, and even when you get an answer - it's like explaining colours to someone who has never seen.

Try asking the scary questions or the questions that make you at least nervous.

Above all, want the answers intensely.

So what are my big questions right now? And know, I do not want to experience any of the answers first hand until I am extensively old and ready to shed the skin. The reason I want to know the answers is to share them, as a human in a human body, with others to alleviate the pain and fear associated with Death. What if you knew what the other side was like? Would it give you freedom to live now without the constant shrouding shadow of oblivion? Should we fear at the same time as wonder? Would you share the answers if they were detrimental to society?

The questions, however, are much less dangerous. I want to share a sample of my questions here:

1. At the moment of true death - that is, when the spirit leaves the body behind completely:
A. What happens to signal the soul to leave the shell? Is it chemical? Is it spiritual? Is it deep in our DNA or is it like plants sensing winter coming? The seed of the soul drops from its chrysalis? Are physical and spiritual closely mated in that process? Or does getting old separate spirit and body? I found a couple answers I will tell you about soon.
B. Are we born to the next world blind and deaf or do we emerge fully developed? Some spirits, I have noticed, take much longer to communicate and manifest to me after their death - why? Is it choice? When a soul emerges, do they have different abilities or the same and like a video game - we "level" what we focus on?
C. How do other spirits know we have died? Some, I understand, watch their loved ones until death.. but I have also seen spirits that were not watching the person in life - know death was near. "Word of Mouth" a spirit next to me says. Answer. Question: What if no one is watching?? Do we cross over the threshold from body to free spirit alone if not watched? The spirit shakes its head in saying "No. Everyone is watched. Tended in the nursery." "Never alone" another says, "love" "joy". How beautiful. How relaxing. I have lived my life always being around spirits, and I have worried about those who weren,t watched.. this is good. I have gotten used to showering, going toilet, sleeping, mating, crying, doing bad and good - all in front of spirits. It's a lot less creepy than it sounds, and they will mostly give you privacy when you need it - turn their attention away from your body and focus on your soul. Otherwise, I'd be a virgin for life - having family members' spirits watching me! Lol. It's a lot more beautiful and comforting and empowering.
D. In the first Meeting we have as souls with another souls - do spirits communicate with each other as they do with me - images, words, emotions, senses - or is it less intimate.. like talking to one another? Is it more intimate? Like two souls merging into one as I see in old souls? How is a nascent spirit treated?
E. What does it feel like to be a spirit - consciousness wise? Is it scary? Is it wonderful? Is it easy? Is it explicable? I know what consciousness is like, I Know how it feels. I know how it feels on drugs, or drunk, or sick, or healthy, I know what it feels like to be in the so called Alpha State and be conscious. I know what it's like to lucid dream, or the normal wild dreams we just go with and see where it takes us. Is it lucid? Or is it blurred and chaotic and needs adjusting to? Lucidity. I hope it's lucid. I am too scared of any other state for immeasurable time.

On that last sub question, I want to change the flow of this. Being sick has made me experience consciousness in so many ways. I have adapted to being on many drugs and altered brain chemistry and patterns from pain and poor sleep. At first the medication was too much - I cried myself to sleep each night wanting to be sober, healthy's clear headed. And now, I am used to it and forget what it's like to be sober and healthy. Messy thought processes still scare the crap out of me. I was smart, clear, and fast witted. Now I have lost my edge at times. My high IQ before has wilted, and I struggle to maintain my mind in the jungle of drugs and sick - reminding me of when I used to drink a lot to numb the pain .. that lack of control. I fear being a soul is like this, but I am also comforted at the level of "used to" I am in this state now. If I wasn't so scared I could open my mind and ask the spirits for their answer. That is a personal quest for me - become okay with this.
I don't ask for pity. I don't tell many people about the level of my stoned sick consciousness experience, and here I do it for a purpose - for those of you who have never had altered consciousness - I wanted to explain the question of: what is a spirit's consciousness like?

I'll write soon :) And hopefully soon you'll be seeing embedded videos if I can muster up the energy! A spirit suggested it two days ago, and I was thrilled. She said it would be easier, and a way to explain better. Nothing explains subtlety like the timbre of a voice, the breathing, the pitch changes. And also a way to do readings. One day I hope to get off of disability, and she explained this was a way. I don't understand how, as my medical expenses can be well above a thousand a month. School is insanely hard when your memories fade at will and your consciousness changes day by day. She and other spirits have offered help in showing me. It's nice having a team of spirits in your corner!

I am going to put up a voting box soon - and so if you like the idea of videos instead of text (or a stagger of writing and videos etc) you'll be able to voice your opinion. Your answers are very valuable to me personally.

Your readership means a lot to me. In this body I feel so helpless sometimes - but don't mistake that for unhappy. I am quite a happy girl with you reading me and spirits talking to me.

Forge love in this world.. then in the next you'll find your life richer and happier.





- Someone sent me this great picture - sadly I don't know who took it - but it reminds me of the soul being shaped by our physical body. The soul are the roots, the paved walkway the physical body in our place in history.

- I used the Blog Press app to write this

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Moment of Death

I asked a spirit to come forward and tell me about his death experience. I typed quickly as he spoke, and left the spelling as is. I found it to be an interesting conversation.

"I died in 1958 in a pile of traffic. It was cold, dark, dank and filled with monsters (cars I think he means). I was driving one minute and the next I felt like the car door was the floor - and then I was dead. It was an instant. I felt myself slip aside then up.. no more like out. Like I was deep in water with no air left in my lungs. I expected to yearn for breath but that never came. My leg that'd hurt for years, I suddenly noticed it wasn't hurting. I felt like I should breathe but I didn't have the equipment for it anymore. I could hear Marty calling my name, crying, screaming dazed and it kinda woke me up from this amazement and excitement of this numb feeling. I couldn't see with my eyes, it was dark at first, but then I opened some sort of eyes, not like the eyes I had when I was alive but other ones. They didn't have lids it was just sort of an awareness that opened them. Marty was clinging to the lump of clothes next to him, I noticed it was a person slumped and obviously broken. I didn't realize then but I was seeing so differently, like the scene was in my consciousness, not outside in the world. Like my eyes were all around and encapsulating the scene. Like nothing I can fully explain. I was next to Marty, but also around him, above him, under him, you know? I saw he was sobbing like a kid, something I'd never seen before and I was confused until I was aware the body was me. It wasn't me at all, not anymore. I wasn't connected to it anymore. I didn't really have hands, but I reached out as if I had one and placed it on Marty's shoulder. He moved like he felt it I think. An officer was nearby, my awareness shifted to outside the car, the flashing lights and survivors moving in the scene. I was still with Marty but also outside. When it's your turn you'll see, we all get a kick out of it. It took a few minutes until I noticed my Ma outside the scene. She was dead and I felt pulled towards her, not like a physical pull but like an itch - I had to keep a date or I was late for an exam. God she looked so lovely. Her hair was all done up, her makeup, just like I remembered. But that's the queer thing, I remembered her as a little old lady, not this lady - but I knew it was her. It was a given. She welcomed me, loved me, cherished me and was so happy to see me. I was pulled around like at a party from group to group of my dead friends and family and coworkers and you name it. My dog Andrew was there, my pets all of them. All the friends I had that were dead were excited to see me. It was like I graduated and got to come home for the first time in decades. Oh yeah, it felt like home too, you know? Warm and like someone had just cooked me a grill cheese sandwich and my favorite show was on and it was sweet. I felt pulled back and forth between Marty and this great party. I felt bad because I wanted Marty to get over with his grief so I could spend more time in this great place. Guilty. I spent time with Marty until he settled doen. Word got around about my death. My wife, my sons, my daughter.. all crying next. They were sad I was dead and I was sad they weren't here to see the other side of things. There was this one moment where my 'Linda, that's my little girl, cried so sweetly and begged God to bring me back. I cried. I had no eyes, no breath, but I sobbed. The more I wept, the more she did. Then I gathered myself and so did she for the most part. She felt me! They all did but no one talked about it, it wasn't like "Hey Dad's here with us, I know it" - no talk of specters, spooky sounds, nothing. I forgot about the party, as I like to call it, and Ma encouraged me to spend time with my living family. She even came with me. Dad was there too, but as in life, he was a quiet man - few words and when he did say something it meant something big. I felt his strength around me all the time. Even as a spirit he smokes cigars. Pipes. Lots of us do things like that, it's the feeling of it not the chemical body changes. I lay down spooning my wife as she tried to sleep, talking to her, she would cry a lot. Alone mostly, around the kids she waas a rock. I stayed with her for a long time, sometimes I would leave for a while when she was okay. When things got back to normal, a couple years later, I would spend more and more time on the other side of things. With the dead people (he laughs) and their gossip about the living and the dead. There was this one guy, Phil, who I never knew in life, but was friends with my Pa in life and in death he took me to see all sorts of things. The big landmarks at first - like the Eifle Tower, the Big Ben type bridge, the pyramids.. he'd traveled a lot as a kid and young adult and when he died he took it up again. We weren't alone, we would meet other people doing the same thing as us. Sometimes we would see a death and help the fellow out. Sometimes one of us would feel the itch to see our family again, and take a break. We could pick up whenever. It's weird to talk to you about it. Before I died, my life was hard but fulfilling. It's like the others say - the living is a womb and the death is birth. We see the ones that off themselves before their "time" and they're more confused. I died before my physical time, you ask me about fate and I don't buy it how people used to talk about it in my time. In my time, fate was this detailed plan made by something really detail-oriented. You know we agree you don't want to bring religion into it, most of us refuse to talk about religion, it's a surprise that's worth the wait and makes everyone happy. Well except those sad _____ that are never happy unless they're criticizing, that isn't cleared up after death at all. Time, maybe, but not death. Back to fate, sorry if I get off track, I know you're unwell sweetheart. So it's not that I was fated to die later as an old man or as I did behind the wheel of a chevy. By the way, it wasn't my fault, the accident. Fog, night, bad bridge intersection. Fate was more a lot fo growth I had to do. You see old people dying and they still had a lot of growing to do. Bodies give us shape in our consciousness, life gives character, variety."


He sees I am tired and encourages me to rest. Allowing myself to be a conduit does take its toll, but it also has its rewards. Passing a kidney stone lately, hard to write as it requires attention otherwise used in dealing with pain. That's it for today :) Have a lovely night!



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