One thing I would love to know is - how do they manage to join our dreams?
Since I was a child, I have had dreams with the dead. But how does one tell the difference between a plain old dream and a dream with an extra consciousness in it? I have worked out a few ways by following up on things they have told me that I haven't been able to pin on anything like memory or suggestion etc. For example, I am told to check up on an old friend as they are suffering intensely - then I call up that person and see how they're doing.. and they are doing terribly - even though I have not talked to them in a year or two - or even kept up with their lives. Yeah, my illness not only makes me stop blogging, but it makes me less social all together.
Let's get started.
Clues a Spirit is Contacting You in a Dream
1. The dream is more lucid. Feels more real and is more easily remembered. It stays with you longer.
2. The deceased person is a little confused at the weird stuff you're dreaming about.
Let's say you're dreaming about a pink rhino in a fireman's outfit.. the deceased person will be confused or shocked or even laugh at the strangeness of your imagination. They will either make a point to talk about it or make the appropriate facial expression.
3. Easily legible words.
Oftentimes I see words written across the sky or tattooed on my skin in the dream. Once it was written on my bedspread in the dream. More often than not, however, it is in the sky. Reading in dreams is difficult normally, but in the spiritual contact dreams I've had.. reading was simple.
4. More senses are engaged in the dream.
You'll feel wind on your skin or smell a specific perfume, or the taste of a never before tasted dish - all examples.
5. The deceased person follows you from dream to dream - wearing the same clothes or doing the same thing, saying the same or even bringing elements of the previous dream to the next one.
How to be Open to Spiritual Contact in a Dream
1. Write your dreams down in a dream journal.
This will encourage you to remember your dreams more clearly, telling your brain that dreams are important and therefore worth saving to long term memory. The more often you use a dream diary, the more you will recall your dreams. Try it for a month and see. The more you remember your dreams, the more you will remember the dreams in which spirits attempt contact.
2. Work on lucid dreaming!
Lucid dreaming doesn't necessarily mean that you can control your dreams.. it just means that you are aware you are dreaming and the dreams themselves are clearer than normal dreams. Learning how to lucid dream is a wonderful way of being more aware in a spiritual contact dream and will even allow you to better communicate in both directions - not just listening to what the spirit has to say, but telling it something you want to or need to. You don't need to pay to learn how, there are many free resources such as free online videos, guided meditation, apps, ebooks, etc out there if you just take the time to look. At some point I want to get deeper into it and put up some links. I think that'll be this month but let's see how my body feels about being active ;) One thing I will recommend is Jody W the hypnotist on Youtube - search "guided meditation Jody sleep hypnosis lucid dreaming" and you will find her - some people don't like the way she talks but I love it. She talks that way on purpose, slowing and keeping a rhythm that helps to hypnotize you. Amazing lady. Free and easy to do, just let it run before you sleep. There are also apps that have alarms to wake you up mid sleep cycle but I haven't tried them yet so I don't want to endorse something I haven't tried.
3. Have a good sleeping schedule.
Insomnia is a bane to any sort of dream work, for obvious reasons. If you don't sleep, you don't dream. ( Well.. there was that time I didn't sleep for a good month except for some passing out for ten-thirty minutes at a time.. I do not recommend that - I have heard you can die from not sleeping.) Ensuring you have a solid sleep schedule, that fits your life, is a great way to invite spirits to use dreaming as a method of communication. Also, a refreshed mind is sharper and a sharper mind is better all 'round for communication. Make a schedule that fits your life by looking at your work schedule, family schedule, etc - and finding that perfect zone of 7-8 hours. Although some people seem to do just fine with less, and some need more.
4. Melatonin and Vitamin D cycling - ask your doctor before doing this!
When I was at the height of my sleep training, due to pain insomnia, I took vitamin D around 10am and melatonin about an hour or thirty mins before bed - at the same time every day. Melatonin makes you sleepy and vitamin D is great for wakefulness.. also great anti-cancer supplement - look it up, I'm serious. People who do shift work use this in order to change their cycle from one shift to another. This will help your circadian rhythm, or the cycle of sleep and wakefulness, to become so impressed in you that dreaming can start coming like clockwork. Personally I found a difference, but some people don't. I no longer do the cycling due to contraindications with my medication, but I still swear by vitamin D.
5. Meditation.
You know, I love meditation and recommend it for so many things, and this time is no exception. The disciplined and calm mind can accomplish a lot more than a cluttered and anxious mind - that includes dreaming and dream recall. As a side note, it can really help.
6. Purposeful Naps
When I want to contact a spirit in a dream, I make sure to meditate on them before I take a short nap. I time it for no longer than 2 hours. I also don't do this often as naps can throw off your sleep schedule, but my illness means I need to nap sometimes a few times a day so I take advantage of my disadvantage and lucid dream parties ensue. Lay down in your bed and focus on who you want to talk to and what you want to ask if you need to ask something in particular. Picture their face and repeat the question and sooner or later you'll fall asleep - try not to make it too complex. I will write about these naps later in more detail.
7. Memory Palace? Think Dream Forest. (Escape Plan)
I love the use of memory palaces. These are places - be it a large palace or a small house - that you imagine over and over again until they are solidified in your mind. You use these palaces to remember things.. Studying for a test? Put the equation you can't quite remember on a blackboard in the kitchen of your memory palace. Can't remember the capital of Spain? Make a banner for the memory palace conservatory say Madrid! It is far more complex than that, but for the purpose of this article, that's all you need to know. What is a dream forest? Well.. I don't know if I made it up first, probably not.. there are so many people out there that original ideas are rare beasts indeed.. I will google at some point.. but it is what I use to make a space in my mind for purposeful dreaming. Not only do I contact spirits in my dreams, but I make it a point to try and dream specific dreams - like dreams of having no pain or dreams of healing. Again, not necessary to know at the moment. So I envision a safe place - for me it is a forest filled with healthy plants and animals, with multicoloured fruit and flowers and a large treehouse in the middle. I make it a safe place, so nothing threatening. I make an "exits" all over the place as a way to wake up. This takes a couple of years of work in daily meditation (minutes a day, nothing major) but basically whenever things get nightmarish, I train myself to wake up by going through the doors - or spinning around. (That was a trick an expert I knew told me about, spin around or do awkward cartwheels). So by making this safe space, if spirits get a little too scary, you can wake up and ditch the dead conversation. It is important if you are going to dedicate yourself to dream contact to have an exit strategy.
8. Repetition Programming: Sleep Ritual
Sometimes dreaming is aided by simple Pavlovian techniques. Parents use these tricks all the time to put their kids into deep sleep. A mom or dad sings the same song before bed, or a bath before bed with lavender oil, or a routine game like patty-cake, or reading the same book before bed. This is all to create a routine - which, like the famous Pavlov's experiments with dogs who were programmed to expect food at the sound of a bell (though training) - programming yourself is not that difficult. If you do a "ritual" before bed, you can tell your body it's time to get to sleep more easily. An example would be - brush your teeth, do some simple leg and arm stretches, brush your hair, lay down and do prayers or read a chapter of a not-exciting book, then turn off the lights and close your eyes. If you do the same thing every night, your body gets more queues that it's time to sleep. Faster falling asleep means faster dreaming and better sleep - generally. I knew someone who would recite a William Blake poem before bed each night and she would start snoring half way through.. funny at a sleep over with highschool peers.. but hey - it worked. You can even ring a specific bell before you close your eyes. Just don't do anything that could happen while you operate heavy machinery ;)
9. Speak to your Spirits.
Who do you want to talk to? Is it your great grandmother? Is it your deceased friend from college? Is it your dearly departed spouse? Whomever it is: talk to them in your waking time. Even if they don't communicate back in your waking time, they will know you want to engage in a conversation with them. They will know what you want to talk about. They will know you are actively seeking out their communication. Be patient, and don't get your hopes up. There are some spirits I have never been able to dream with, despite trying for a long and effort-full time. Make a list of who you want to talk with and talk to all of those people. Just don't talk to them in public.. trust me.. you'll get in more trouble than rewarded.
10. The Sign.
I have a little stuffed animal I put on my bedside table if I am "open to talk" and put it away when I want my privacy. There are some days where you need solid sleep and not to be awoken in case the dream communication gets too heated. I make sure to communicate what this little plushie means. You could make a sign out of paper or use an object like I do. But I would do this only if you get a lot of communications - not if you want to be talked to anytime.
11. Experiment.
All these suggestions have been part of my experiments. It is ongoing and I will share more when anything else new comes up. I would love to hear what experiments you try - succeed or fail - when it comes to spirits.
Warning
Be careful who you suggest talk to you. If a malignant spirit is in your house - don't ask it to communicate by dreams. Only trusted deceased friends and family. People you know. Not celebrity ghosts either.. some celebrities are horrible people and make even more horrible spirits. This is why I created the exit system I described earlier, and the safe space. Scary spirits are a rarity, but they exist. Not just ones that'll scare you, but there are some that will play with your mind and make your sleep a time to be dreaded. Don't be frivolous. Don't just say out loud: "any spirit, communicate with me" - because that's just reckless. It's like leaving your door unlocked in New York City and leaving a sign that says "come in and say hi!"
Be careful.
Closing Remarks
Spirit communication through dreams can bring a new sense of adventure to your unconscious hours, but it requires discipline and care. It can happen without any of that, but it is more likely to happen with intention and work. Have respect for yourself and your conversation partner, and make sure that restorative sleep comes first. Your time here is precious, don't let spirits take up more time in your life than is healthy.
Meaningful conversations that enhance your time here: that is what I look for. Learn as much as you can and experience all you want to experience without hurting others, and your time here will be well spent. You don't need to be rich, famous, influential, or even what society thinks of as productive - as long as you spend your life in a way which peacefully enriches your existence. This is the lesson I get taught the most by spirits. And dreams are a great classroom. Well, either way - it's elating to have tea with your departed nana again or hug your deceased buddy. It can revitalize, uplift, and bring new meaning to life. I hope I can live up to the things I learn from these wise people. I'll try my best.
Thanks for reading, it means a lot to me. Have a wonderful day!