Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Dearly Beloved: Do Ghosts Attend Their Own Funerals?

Yes. Most do.

"Larra" explains that her funeral was the highpoint of her life. She had been a bookish and solitary woman in life, someone most people looked past - as invisible as a spirit to most folk. She had a wonderful family and a few friends she barely saw. She had once come close to a life partner, only to be rejected finally. Her life was not what most would say excitement, but she did enjoy it. Learning, watching what was then only black and white tv - I love Lucy her favorite laugh. She also would put the radio on Sunday nights to listen to radio dramas while she drank hot cocoa and pet her soft and "callous" darling cat - perhaps, she muses, it was a one way love, but boy was that love powerful. Not a crazy cat lady, she assures.
She died as quietly as she lived. Suffocating on something "hot, thick, and tar scented." "Maybe it was murder, maybe it was my cooking!" she jokes. Some spirits have trouble remembering their deaths. She shares the feel with me and it was not what I consider an easy death, nor a quick one. Like a tar flavoured brownies expanding in her upper throat. Horrifying feeling. I promised to do some more googling to find out what this was, but if anyone has an idea what this substance is, please mail me. A/r/ool/u-n/eo@ya/h/oo.ca (but take out the / which I inserted for spam guarding). She says she will try hard to reward the person that tells her what it is, she will find and help you personally.
She realized early on that she was dead "so that wasn't a problem", and followed several family members until she saw the mockup for the funeral invitations. She calls them invitations but they look more like announcements with funeral details. She called it the "Funeral Scene" instead of funeral details.
She sat, at first, in the backmost pew on the right. Then, as she heard people "say their piece", she got closer and closer with intrigue. All these people she thought didn't notice her were bawling and professing what an angel she was. They told funny stories of things she thought no one had noticed at the time. Her mother and father both said they were proud. Proud! She was on cloud nine.. Pun intended!
She also pretended to do a kind of acceptance speech, telling them all how lucky she was to know them, even though she didn't know half the people around - she cracked jokes and sang songs and danced. She was appreciated! She was noticed! She was truly loved! What a wonderful day, she says, I can sense the immense love in her heart even after decades of being dead.
"That funeral was more like I had won the grandest medal, a shining cup, and a lifetime of perfection award."
I asked her to tell me advice for those soon attending a funeral.
"Tell your loved ones what you noticed about them. The little things. Moments you wish you said to them something you didn't have the time or courage to. Maybe you wanted to hug them more, kiss them more. Maybe you wish you'd told them how lovely their hair is. Tell them what a beautiful body they left behind! (she's kidding, I think) Fill your mind and your lil heart with love and memories. We can sense them. I think most of us, anyways. We can hear you. I don't know how, but we can. Be honest, but if you have nothing nice to say.. Pretend." she winks and bows theatrically and leaves me to type the remainder of this article.


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