Update
I wanted to keep you up to date and assure you I am still going to write often. In September (or August, hard to remember) there was a bunch of stress that lead me to a major flare up in my illness - So writing took a back seat.
Dark Side of Criminal Minds
I also started connecting to a criminal spirit after a reader pointed out that one of the readings about a criminal reminded him strongly of a certain drug king pin. This became difficult and scary, and a wake up call about contacting certain kinds of spirits. The man himself was nice and cared about his family overall but he had a razor sharp dark stern side that I wasn't prepared to experience. I have a pretty high threshold for disturbing, being exposed to spirits since I can remember, but once in a while you get a spirit that is unusually inhuman. This spirit blasted the communication with joyous family moments, breathtaking vistas of places he had visited, lush memories of all the money he had which enriched parts of his life. But he also showed me the darker parts. His hands strangling the life out of someone, his hatred for a certain man close to him that he couldn't kill due to intricate politics in his crime organization, his joy for someone being tortured, his chagrin when police were so close to catching him and generally very unpleasant things.
I think he wanted to share. I think he wanted to get certain things off his chest. At some point, when I am done our conversations, I will tell you all about it. Little bits at a time are enough, however, as my tolerance for such intimate communications of violence is fairly low. Thank you for your patience.
For Morgan: Fear of Night
Quieter, darker and still.. the night affords all of us a better grasp of the world of the dead that the noisy, bright and busy day distracts us from. The more sensitive of us feel it even more and sense things around us during the night, even in a fully lit room with music playing and activities in full swing, sensitive people (people who are more in tune with the subtle things in our world) are able to feel spirits much more easily at night. This can be a terrifying and confusing ordeal.
This is very different from fear of the dark. Being in a dark room during the day and a dark room during the night should feel the same - yet for these sensitives.. they don't feel the same at all. This is a fear, I feel, caused by whatever sensory receptors we have to sense spirits (physical or metaphysical receptors) are stimulated. Like someone blowing on the back of your neck and the hairs stand up causing a tickle, the same type of reaction but feeling very different.
The feeling is much like being watched or hunted, the feeling that you are in danger or at the very least like something is making eye contact. Sometimes it feels like your house isn't yours, you are the intruder. Sometimes it feels like you are in a horror movie and something is going to jump out and scare you at any minute. Sometimes it feels like you are being stalked by a predator. Sometimes it feels like there is a fire in your house but you can't find it. Sometimes it even feels like someone is waiting for you to say something, and they are running out of patience for the answer.
So for those who have this sensitivity... how do you get rid of it? I can only tell you how I helped others and how got rid of the fear in myself, and how I developed my method for doing so. The work is yours to do, and the rewards are yours to reap.
I used to be unable to sleep when I was younger. It took me a long time and I would often wake up my parents with creepy things like "there is a man at my bed and he won't stop looking at me" or "there are too many people in my room and they won't stop talking!" As I got older part of me got less sensitive to it just by time doing what time does. However, the fear wasn't gone - it was just less. That was when I could see spirits, sometimes spirits don't want you to see them, they just want you to feel them. As I got older I learned to meditate, and that helped me leaps and bounds more than any method I had tried. Good old visualizations of laying a brick wall around myself and my house, brick by brick no other trick to it. This meditation works for many things, and for this it was extra helpful. But there are other ways.
For others who have come to me, who cannot see spirits, I had conversations with spirits about what the feeling is and what to do about it. Spirits are fountains of information and wisdom. As I asked spirits recently about this topic (I have been working on it for a while, trying to get as much help as I could within reason) I had a few different responses.
Aliva (Ah-lee-VAH)Never heard that name before but I like it) is a spirit with short red curly hair and a proud beautiful face with perfect eyebrows, sharp deep hazel eyes and a gorgeous smile on olive tanned skin. She was a "conversa" ?or "gonversa" - never heard of that, her mother tongue isn't English so I'm not sure of some of the things she says. I would say she is Italian or Spanish or ? Anyways. She says "the trick to feeling better is to move!" (she is half joking) "sometimes spirits in the house don't like you being there and want you to leave. You can leave and find a house that feels better." So I asked if there was a way to combat the feeling without moving. She answered "Make friends with them. Let them know you respect that they also own the house in their way, and that you understand why they aren't happy. But you need to let them know that you bought the house and didn't know there were spiritual owners ok? Speak out loud and have a talk with them. Tell them you can be roommates or that you can just ignore each other. Spirits can be great allies if you treat them nicely, keeping an eye on the house when you can't - if you are sleeping, out of the house, or even in the shower. They can also warn you when things are wrong. That might be another reason you feel this fear - they might be warning you about something. If you can, look around the house and see if there's anything wrong - or examine your life and see if there is something you haven't yet noticed about your life. Good luck."
Nick, Nicolas, is a handsome man in a tweed camel coloured suit and slick hair. He looks like he died in the 1950's, and is a kind soul. He has blue eyes and light brown hair. "The minute you start feeling that fear, you need to find something to do that relaxes you. The more you feel it, the worse it gets. Henny, my wife, used to massage her feet. I would do it sometimes but the action kept her focused. I never felt that fear but she did awfully. Stay calm and keep at it."
Andrei is a hard to see spirit. But I can understand him so I will continue. "Breathing. In and out slowly, and focus on your favourite deceased person. Your Grandma or your favourite uncle.. Whatever. Ask them to protect you. But you don't need protecting. Spirits won't hurt you unless you really piss them off. It is rare, I have only heard of it, I have never seen it."
Gloria goes a different route. She is a tall and slender woman in her 20s, and I think she is very very old.. she looks like a spirit from 17th Century as I looked up her outfit and the closest I got was a fashion popular in the 17th. She is beautiful and graceful. "Pray every day, go to God in your own way and God will help."
Lastly Amy, a sweet young spirit with curly blonde hair (she says that's the way Shirley Temple had her hair, and she loves it) and big round brown eyes, a darling dress and Mary Jane shoes had some special wisdom. She's been deceased for a while (so she isn't really 8 years old but just looks it) and has loved watching the living and analyzing them and their issues. "Use the fear to make something. Draw the fear, sculpt the fear, write a poem. It is yours to use as a power source and create something good out of something bad. I see it all the time and am always surprised by the beautiful things that come out of that kind of feeling. People are amazing. Good luck, Morgan!"
Alright, I hope this helps. If not, please let me know and I will look for more ways to fix this problem. Living with fear isn't a fun thing, and no one should have to go through it. The most obstinate anxiety has a solution, or at least a way to lessen it. My favourite answer is Amy's.. but she is one of my favourite spirits to talk to.. I don't have any children and it's nice to spend time with a little girl, even if she is older than me ;) Although all the answers I related to you from spirits were great and I appreciate every spirit's input. They don't have to answer my call for help, but they always do and in good numbers.
I would also like to extend what Amy said afterwards: "If you want to ask me a question, I am happy to answer!" And I can ask questions from any spirit mentioned, as usually they are also forthcoming and glad to be of help. Or maybe they just like talking to the living. It's exotic for them 😊
More to come, I think I am starting to feel better from September's flare up so I want to get back to writing about and talking to spirits. Thank you for reading!