This is something I have wanted to do for quite some time. I have, however, posted about these things a few times, like in
Ghost Tantrums - how to deal with an angry but not seriously angry spirit
Bone Breaker - about a SERIOUSLY angry spirit.
The Effects of Spiritual Proximity on the Body - which deals with what spirits near you can trigger in the body - such as hallucinations, alien-to-your-mind thoughts, etc.
I am sure there's more. And will be more. Please forgive my incoherence once in a while, I tend to write in meditation so my spirit friends can speak to me, correct me, and add things while I type. Once in a while I open up a little too far and am foggy.
I would like to talk about the difference between a good haunting and a bad haunting. Sounds weird, doesn't it? A Good Haunting? The dictionary says
this defining the word "haunting". When I use the word, I have a different definition. My definitions, not THE definition. I humbly accept that I am at odds with popular new age culture. Humbly? I mean happily ;)
Haunting: a soul which frequents a place, person, or thing.
A Good Haunting: when a helpful, happy, pleasant soul frequents a person, place, or thing.
A Bad Haunting: when a violent, angry, terrifying soul frequents a person, place, or thing.
I am unsure if the theory that some hauntings are caused by an intense emotional event repeating itself
over and over -
ad nauseum. Since I don't KNOW yet for sure that is a thing, I don't like to talk about it like it is. I dislike when people come up with all sorts of things they are not half sure of and pass it off like it's a law of physics. But that's another post. So for this, I will say Soul to simplify, keep in mind that sometimes I just don't know what it is. Yet ;)
I have seen some pretty scary ghosts in my time. I have seen things not yet thought up in horror movies yet. I have seen things that have made me cry like a baby, things that I run away from - and seeing as Mr. Meaty (a skinless apparition of a dead aluminum smelter) doesn't even make me flinch after a few seconds, know that these scarier things are - well.. downright terrifying. They have made me question my faith and at times question my sanity. If it were not for the high volume of correct details - crazy details impossible to know without access to spirits- I would probably be sure of craziness. That being said, there are some hauntings that would make even the most horrifying of horror flicks seem like a Disney "horror" themed movie.
If there are children involved, the elderly, or other fragile folk - please find a good reputable and true medium that can speak to spirits well. Never leave anyone in your home you don't know alone - always have a friend there to watch over the process.
There are steps to take if you are in a situation like this.
1) Paranormal Investigators are
not always a Good Idea
Don't hire paranormal investigators
without a real medium - that is, someone who can actually have a back and forth communication with the dead. Non-medium investigators are usually (but not always) out to get some media proof of spirits they can either add to their collection, spread on the Internet to get hits, get a TV show deal, or other money making ways. True Mediums will be able to contact the spirit properly - not dabbling - and calm the situation down. If you get a bunch of newbie-to-the-paranormal college kids with a digital sound recorder, video camera with infra red, maybe even a Geiger counter or motion detecting cameras - you'll seriously piss the ghost(s) off instead of helping in most cases. Most paranormal investigators without access to the spirit world are trying to prove to themselves that there is life after death - not to help get RID of your ghost, but to
provoke it into showing itself and giving concrete proof. I already know there is life after death, no doubt in my mind whatsoever. I don't know all about it, as it's like asking someone to know everything about the Earth. We just can't know it all without being giant omniscient brains.
I want to stop here to say: I encourage proof finders. I encourage paranormal investigators. I encourage people without access to the spiritual realm to reach out; but I do not encourage people who don't know the first thing about real ghosts to say they can get rid of a scary-ass angry-as-a-newly-branded-bull seeing someone hittin' on his sexy cow! Seriously though: that is
beyond dangerous. They can turn a somewhat annoying haunting into a full on Nightmare on Your Street. It could cause property damage, bodily damage, even death.
If you want to find proof of the afterlife for yourself, do so cautiously. I want to write about that soon! Safe places to do these investigations. Ways to get spirits to manifest without angering them, insulting them etc. There are many ways to do it without torturing the haunted home's owner and of course the spirit(s) in question. You might end up attaching the ghost to yourself if you don't do it right. Sounds cool, but the reality of it is far from. Most people, including the police, will think you're nuts, doing this all to yourself, and if you have children - and the children get hurt - who do you think will end up going to jail and losing their kids?
This also doesn't mean you shouldn't document the haunting. The paranormal teams which are serious and have access to spiritual communication are documenting the haunting for several purposes: evidence, clues as to what the spirit wants (see 2), clues as to who the spirit is, clues as to what exactly is being haunted, etc.
2) Resisting the Urge to Insult the Spirit
Know how to respond! It's not an easy thing, sadly. Unlike bullies, you can't fight back or try to avoid them in most cases. Some spirits want you to do something for them, hear them, others want you to be as miserable as they are, others are puckish mischief makers who just want a laugh. Others still want you out of their house, or away from their item, etc. If you can find out what it wants, you're halfway there. A good rule of thumb is to say:
- "I can't understand what you're trying to say." adding you can't hear/see/sense the spirit if you are not a medium, or even if you are -some spirits are harder to see than others.
- "I want to help you, but I can't if you keep scaring me." (and my family, pets, etc if you have any around the haunting)
- "I feel you're upset and I empathize/sympathize with you." NEVER "pity"! Word choice is important when talking to a sensitive spirit.
- "It must be something really horrible that happened to you, is there someone else who can help you or hear your words?"
- "I hope you find a resolution to your pain and anguish, but I can't help you."
Do not encourage it to be violent!
Don't say something like:
"Give me your worst" or "you're a pussy" or "you're pathetic" or "I hope you rot in Hell" etc. Bad idea. Even if you are trying to get proof on tape, you might actually make the ghost understand what you want, and he/she will not give you proof. They'll just wait until a time you don't have your equipment, thus freaking you out without documented proof. Spirits aren't dumb, they're as intelligent, usually much more, as living humans. They have a lot more time to think about how best to get their revenge if you upset them - no sleep, no work, no distractions.
3) Alone Time from the Spook.
Have a break. It is important to get away from the situation if you can.
If this is possible. Go live with a friend or family member for a while, go on vacation if you can, or just get out of the house for a walk. Sometimes you can't, as they are haunting
you and a place or thing that can be left behind. Go to a holy place, a place connected with your religious belief. I don't know if they all work, but I have been in some buildings that are just devoid of spirits and full of a bright energy - it's strange. I am not sure what it is, but it is the same feeling I get when I get to see the beautiful place, the Summer place filled with happy spirits - maybe it's Heaven, Nirvana - universal consciousness - The Other Side, or whatever you call it, or maybe it's a type of spirit that is less humanoid looking and more amorphous energy - maybe even something inhuman, animal, older, ritualistic force (cleansing), or something completely unknown. I don't want to say it's God, because I just don't know. Maybe someday I will have a better idea, but I also don't think God is knowable.. we're just babies in a playpen fumbling to learn and grow in my opinion. I will tell you what little I have heard, seen, felt, etc at some point, but I am also scared to cause religious controversy. I believe religion is a personal journey toward the Creating Force/Being. I like the term Architect or Parent or best of all: Artist.
Anyways, some buildings seem to have the respect of many ghosts, and a lot of them won't follow you into hallowed spaces. Maybe it's fear, maybe religion, code of honor), I don't know for sure. I doubt the really cruel spirits care about honor, however.
A break away from the haunting will give you time to be yourself, stripping away the ichor of such a traumatic experience into the succor of spiritual peace! Like a soul stretch, cleansing. See number 9 for cleansing during this experience.
4) Documentation
If you don't have a proper investigation team to do it for you -
document everything you can about the haunting. Digital recorders are often better than analog, old school recorders - same goes for cameras. Why? If you use a used tape to tape spirits talking/yelling/communicating, the old "image" of the sound will be behind it. You can even hear it at times if you turn it up loud enough, and most people use post production filters to increase the sound of what might be a ghost talking. I am going to talk about EVP soon, but for now just document it. Write everything pertinent down, or type it out. Take photographs and samples if there is spiritual manifestations like liquid, foam, solids and gaseous matter. I know it's hard to contain gaseous specimens, but sometimes it helps to get a
sterile jar and try to get some particles inside. Might be enough for a very well equipped team's lab. Although I doubt regular dudes carry mass spectrometers or a full chemical stock to test it manually. Microscopes can sometimes be enough. Condensation can occur and a slide of the resulting liquid or solid can reveal cell structure if it's organic. I have seen the delightful red doughnuts of red blood cells in the liquid stuff before. You can't tell its blood until you see it under the microscope. But of course you have to eliminate if the blood is there for other reasons. Sadly, sometimes people say they are haunted when there is horrible domestic violence to cover up their crime. But this is more of a DIY - so you'll know if someone has bled on the ceiling, walls, floor, furniture, etc. Blood is not a common thing, using it as an example here, but you might find matter that should not be present inside the goo or guck. There are many impressive dichotomous keys online for free for those wanting to identify what the matter is - something which REALLY helps when you're trying to figure out what an organic cell is, or even mineral sample. These are basically maps that help you figure out what you're looking at - starting with cell shape or size, moving on to median details, and finally going to the tiny details like nucleus appearance, the presence of certain structures like Golgi Apparatus, organelles for photosynthesis, etc. There are also tests to detect specific chemicals that you can order, if you're wanting to do all the work yourself. They are either in sprays, kits, strips of paper, and so on, depending on the test. This can be a wild goose chase, but if you're interested in going hardcore for a documentary (or what have you) - it's nice to pull out all the stops to show you are doing more than just trying to figure out if what you took a picture of is an orb, dust mote, bug, or light reflected or projected.. Cause a lot of the time orbs are just those, not all, but most of the time. I have seen spirits take the form of perfect spheres, and I have seen photographs of them from extensively reliable sources. I am rambling.
Label all with times and dates, and an explanation of the material/subject matter contained. This is extremely important when gathering data - as times may be of paramount importance. Patterns may arise or a series of numbers that mean something to the haunting.
5) Religious Methods
Prayers! Lovely! Spirits can understand you better when you are calm, clear, and in Alpha state (meditative calm and relaxed yet fully awake kinda state). But what's more than just calm is Religious Belief. If you believe, and you pray to God, spirits - a lot of the time but not all of the time, tend to get a little bothered. They can sometimes leave for fear, or take a little vacation, or even go bother someone else. It's worth a try! Personally I believe this is a powerful tool, but also a spiritually strengthening and ameliorating process. It nourishes your soul and brings you closer to understanding the spirits around you - however.. Any overzealous approach to religion seems to shut the spirit in, as if you are pushing, crushing it, into a small space in the darkest corner of your being. Religion should not be life, nor should many other thing - but a friend, a parent, a guardian angel to watch over you. Anything hard line and the benefit is gone, spirits tend shrink away from people like that - well the good ones anyways. Internalize, it's a private garden for your soul to rest and be renewed.. But if at any time you start being negative in religion, it turns to decay and regression. I have seen hardcore religious people's ghosts, and they are indeed regretful of hurting others in the name of religion. Love is the way to a stronger spirit, and if your spirit is steeped in it, you will be more protected against the cruel spirits. Religion is wonderful!
I'm not against any religion, I am all for them, and know they are nourishment in the right hearts. I will be covering spiritual development soon.
6) Manipulation
This is usually not a good idea unless you know what you're doing and how to shield yourself from being "found out" by the spirit. Lying to the spirit can sometimes help, and so can steering the ghost in another direction. I do
not mean you should tell them to visit your cranky old neighbor that you dislike wholly - I mean steer them somewhere good like the "Other Side".
Lying to spirits is something, unfortunately, one has to do sometimes. I dislike having to do so, but there are some times when telling them only the truth will keep them your guest for more time than you desire. If a spirit is haunting your family, for example, you might start using another last name in letter writing, conversation, etc. I have even heard of one woman who printed out a few fake diplomas and family trees - and framing them. This will sometimes work, as it will confuse the spirit. They don't see our world with eyes, but with their own sensory experience. Changing the furniture around and painting the walls a new very different colour will work with some spirits, others just see the people inside it, anything spiritual like plants. Some spirits can see amazing amounts of details, others are tunnel-visioned, so to speak, and will only see the target. Lying and saying you and the house is not what it thinks will sometimes lead spirits into intense confusion and you have a nice chance of either having a break or ending the haunting all together. BUT - some spirits will be quite enraged. They will see through it and see it as an insult - everything gets worse. This is not the option I recommend to anyone who hasn't much training in mental control or acting.
What I do recommend is manipulation, at times. When a spirit seems happy when you're sad.. pretend to be sad even if you're happy. Play act that you are near insanity and self-destruction. This is not so much a lie as trying to give the spirit what it wants. After a while of this, they will sometimes just get bored and move on - like a bully who just approaches his/her target and sees them cry day after day. It just isn't as much fun for them. This option is rarely a good one, but in some cases will help. Use extreme caution and discretion. If you have children in the house, don't do this. If there is a child involved, find a real medium to help, find a friend to watch over the process - and go live with relatives until it is gone and done.
7) Make Friends
Sometimes talking to the spirit as if they are a part of the family helps. Love is more than likely going to help the situation. I have found, in my personal experience, this usually relaxes a situation considerably. I will say stuff like "Hello" "How are you?" "Oh I am glad you're here, I have to tell you what happened today on my walk!" etc. (One spirit, Yosef, came through as I was typing this and seemed interested in the computer. Looking over my shoulder, then inside and toward the case, and was consumed by the music I have playing. Such a gentleman! He says hello to Mildred, she is close to a reader apparently, and that he left the key "inside the porch" - and that he loves her.) When you are sad, it's also good to let it out and share with the spirit if it has not shown any signs of violence/hatred towards you. Some hauntings are just lonely spirits, wandering spirits that are taking a break from constantly moving (havoc on the mind to keep wandering apparently), spirits that want attention, spirits that want to be loved, spirits that want a family, or spirits that guard you and are trying to warn you about something.
Most of the hauntings I have seen fall under a few categories: guardians trying to warn the person, territorial defense, and interaction-seeking from the living.
In territorial defense, you might win over a spirit with kindness. If kindness and love create negative reactions each time, then another approach is needed.
In Guardians warning, kindness will not work. They are already fans of yours, you need to figure out the warning. The activity they create will lead towards clues. Clues are probably staring you right in the face, but it's hard to see what's familiar. Say guesses aloud, and see if the spirit answers. Be very careful. Lock your doors, make sure your fire alarms are up to date and fully powered, don't trust strangers, look to your friends - do any of them seem to be acting strangely? Just take a temporary analytical stock of your day to day life and try to figure out the warning. Don't assume you should just lock yourself in your home, because the home may be the warning. Is there a gas leak? Is there a new crack in your foundation? Is your plumbing acting funny? Remember - the more intense the activity, the bigger the approaching problem. Slight activity could mean a peeping tom, for example, where as increasing activity could mean the peeping tom is upgrading to a sexual predator, insanely intense activity - he's graduated to full blown psycho killer with a penchant for cannibalism. I take on an insanely paranoid role when trying to figure out what the spirits want when they don't answer as normal spirits do.. guessing hundreds of things every day until the spirit smiles and nods. Or gives me a sarcastic "thank you" clap and eye rolling. That, unfortunately for me, happens way too often ;) Why can some spirits talk so fluently while others seem mute? I have no idea.
Interaction seekers, attention (ok more later, have to take a break.. rain = pain!!!! Fourth day in a row writing tho, I am so happy. Special thanks to my dear T.K. for offering to edit - I will write you soon sweety :D ) I will post first, and edit on Saturday.
8) Annoying Them - experienced communicators only!
Some spirits are easily annoyed. I want to stress that annoying some spirits will make things worse. I was going to share a technique on how to annoy the right kind of spirit.. But determined it was too dangerous, and very irresponsible of me to even consider. It is rare to find a situation in which the technique will work. A spirit must be perfectly suited. Just think of a spiritual haunting as a person interested in buying a home next to yours, for the sake of this example. However, they get to stay for a month to test the waters, so to speak. They are highly undesirable (otherwise you wouldn't be wondering how to get rid of them) and there is no way you could remain in your home if they set up permanently next door. The house has very thin walls, you can hear each other's conversations and various quotidian noises of life. You hatch a plan to get rid of them, but if you want to be successful - you must tailor it to their personality. This analogy works for the entire article. If the spirits are unmoved by anything you do: annoyance will probably yield weak results, if any; if the spirits copy what you do and intensify it: annoying them will most likely reciprocate threefold, and believe me, spirits can annoy like champs if they so feel; if the spirits tend to dislike sounds and commotion and prefer peace and quiet: annoying might take great effort but a spirit which delights in a library-quiet will most likely opt for any house but the one next to yours. There are hundreds of different situation, and I cannot think of more than a handful where this would work. If you have determined without a doubt that the spirit would want to "move out" due to bad jokes, bad manners, lewd conduct, extreme noise, or really bad country music etc.. Then you know what to do ;)
An example of this was a spirit who wanted me to help her get revenge on her husband for cheating on her. I firmly and frequently told her I do not cause harm and to find another medium with less ethic objections. She was quite angry and kept on pushing the request. She got these awful songs in my head, bad muzak and tone-deaf lounge crooners, and would not stop. She knew my weakness for the repeato-jukebox trick. I meditated and got into a deep relaxed state - and took a close look at her. I can, if my pain is not too bad and I can get comfy enough to reach deep meditation, see spirits so intimately! I will write more on this later, but suffice it to say I found out SHE had a weakness... Hardcore Dirty South Rap. Why? Her son would play it full blast in his room well into the night! Causing rap insomnia lol! So I found some, made a play list, and played it whenever she was around. There you have how I discovered I enjoyed some DS rap. I usually listen to classical, instrumental folk music, and music with a relaxing feel, but over the years I have discovered many types of music due to my beloved incorporeal friends.
9) Cleansing
I can only tell you in certainty what I have experienced, and cannot vouch for the some of the methods, but I will nonetheless share a couple that fellow mediums have told me about and asked me to share.
9a: Cleansing the Body
Sometimes my soul feels "dirty", for lack of a better word so far, after a negative communication with spirits. Well, to be honest, sometimes I feel that with people too when they are negative or draining. I look forward to talking about that too, but now I stick to the topic at hand. When that happens, the dirty feeling I mean, I take a few steps taught to me by a spirit guru. A ghost which I have seen on and off for the past decade and more. First, I meditate to clear my mind. I take a warm shower or bath - and clean as much as possible. The physical cleansing. I proceed to the emotional cleansing and make a list of the emotions I am feeling - and find which ones are alien - from the spirit and not from myself - and focus on the emotions that I am producing. Then the spiritual cleansing! I visualize a blinding white light pouring down on me, warm and fuzzy, and pray as it washes over me - asking to be cleansed. I call it a Holy Light - but you don't have to. You could ask your guardian spirits to do it for you, or you could ask a friend to visualize this with you as well to increase the cleansing's efficacy. Always thank whatever energy you bathe in to cleanse. I finish up by drinking a glass of filtered water and a meditation to work on my personal barriers. Barriers are important whenever speaking to spirits, in my opinion. It is not some magic trick, but a training of the mind to recognize invasion/intrusion and push back against it. We have souls. We are bodies with a ghost inside, puppeteering - with the right training, I think - I believe - that we could do anything the spirits can do. Can we live long enough to do that? I don't know. Can we find the right teachers for us? I think that depends on each person. Can we then control the soul without the puppet getting in the way? I don't know, but I think so.
9b: Cleansing the Place
Many mediums and mystics swear by burning sage and/or Lemongrass around the house. The incense is fine but apparently the bundled herbs are what they usually use. At the heart of any cleansing ritual is meditation. It isn't the herbs that do the work, in my opinion (although I don't discount it), but the meditation and the mind and soul behind that ritual. Rituals get us into contact with our spirit. You've no doubt felt it during a religious ritual or successful meditation. You get into a calm feeling, an alpha wave state, time seems to slow, things seem clearer, your mind is more quiet. That is when I am most able to see spirits. That is when I can communicate the best.
Anyways, meditate before any of what you're about to do in a cleansing and breathe evenly, calmly, and consciously. Relaxing or exotic music can sometimes help. Get your tools: your candle and/or incense, holy text, incense/herbs to burn, talisman etc. Tools vary per person. Personally I go with just my mind and a cross around my neck and say prayers. Visualize the same blinding white light filling your home. Walk around it, if need be, and visualize it all - WILL it all to be clean. Envision a powerful sphere of that energy starting in the center of the place and pushing all negativity outward as it grows and cleans along the way any residual spiritual energy. Repeat as desired! Then, once you feel it cleaner (you'll know) - picture the light staying as a dome of impenetrable armor around the area. Guarding the place. Believe it. Will it. If you half arse this, it won't be effective. If people are giggling, talking and generally breaking your concentration, it won't be as effective. Maybe not effective at all.
9c: Cleansing the Object(s)
Same thing as Cleansing the Place: warm-fuzzy-blinding light over the object(s), then make a large bubble around the area. Additional ways that were shared:
- get holy water and bathe the object in it.
- get the object blessed
- send the object away to be returned - sometimes the journey is enough
When all else fails.. I say bury it, get rid of it, or burn it safely. Please don't sell it to some unsuspecting person!!! If someone knows the history, and is 100% sure they can handle it.. go ahead if the haunting is nonviolent.
10) Tried and Tested - Antique and Ancient ways
Of course there are traditional ways: exorcisms, shamanic cleansing, binding spells... There are ways to go about finding these things, thank goodness for the Internet - but make sure you check out their story beforehand. It is almost impossible to get an exorcism without serious proof. Proof that leaves no room for doubt.. then authorization can take a long time, bla bla... But there are many holy trained people who can try an exorcism. Your local Wiccan coven, local Shaman, local Priest, Rabbi, and other holy folk etc can usually help. Will they? Depends how nice they are, and how sane your story appears to them. Usually exorcisms are not given freely. You might have to keep looking for weeks if not months. If it is violent and consistent, keep persisting until one of them agrees. I would suggest moving if the spirit is stationary - its territory meaning everything to it and you meaning nothing I mean. I cannot help with these ways but I hope to get some numbers and addresses/other contact information to give to those in need. Some mediums say the ancient salt-barrier works (placing salt around the boundaries of your home, at each entry point, and even in clusters where the activity is great. I have used brick dust and salt with garlic at one point, and it seemed to do the trick. That was something I learned in my Vodun studies, but I generally don't do it unless nothing else works - last resort - as my neighbors tend to look at me strangely. I'd rather they not know ;)
11) Sharing
Share your life with the spirit. Just like in Making Friends with a Spirit - except in more detail. Do not show your weaknesses, but show things about yourself that can make the spirit relate to you. These are people. If you are in their home, it's good to make friends and be kind. Tell them about your life and the struggles you have been through. Tell them about your interests and your childhood. As they get to know you - they might like you and instead of haunting you negatively - they will watch over you and yours. It's a beautiful experience. It's always good to know some one's got your back, right?
- Concluding Thoughts
This is not a guide to print out and DIY. I wanted to give you some ideas that have either worked for myself, or people I trust implicitly. Hauntings require tons of research, but they also require your will and your beliefs to get rid of or live with. I know it can be horrible. Especially when no one believes you and you're working hard to get proof when you should be getting help! People treating you like you're crazy, gossiping, judging in absolute harshness.. No one knows what a haunting does to a person except those who have gone through it. As always I am here to help - but as I am sick it's often hard for me to write quickly. If you put "EMERGENCY" in the subject line - it'll be immediately flagged. (I apologize if your mail is not replied to right away - as I apologize to non-emergencies that sometimes get lost in the system. I am trying now to schedule time to write and read emails - as well as hopefully helpful posts.)
Think of your haunting as a human being, not as some wafting cloud. Use human psychology but with a twist - remove bodily restrictions. No sleep, no eating, no physicality, no barriers. But also they can be incredibly lonely. The ones that hang on to their hate and revenge lust, the ones that do not want to admit they are dead.. they are so lonely sometimes it breaks the heart even if they are behaving badly. Sometimes it helps to tell them: "You are dead. Move on."
I have not seen "crossing over" in the spirit world necessarily. Spirits that pass on are able to come back, and then go back to the Heavenly place. Tell the spirits it is okay to cross over, because they CAN come back. Because it's not a one way trip. They can still see their families grow and protect their children. Moving on means emotionally moving on from whatever haunts THEM. And when you find out what is haunting them, usually they will stop haunting YOU.
But some ghosts cannot be reasoned with easily. Some will take years. Take heart, however, there are people out there than can help, will help you. Just keep trying!
